In Which I Begin To Gag...

I am still fighting this cold but have successfully thwarted the massive frontal assault on my lungs.  Nothing is getting past my throat, thank you very much!!  This is due to the overwhelming amount of coughing that is going on.  I fall asleep with a cough drop in my mouth...it's rather disgusting actually.  But enough about me and my illness (Which Madeline caught on Saturday and has stayed home today and will be staying home tomorrow as well).

So because I have been coughing like a lunatic who is trying to put out a forest fire single handedly, I have developed quite the sensitive gag reflex.  What does one do when you haven't done laundry in 2 weeks and need something completely mindless to watch?  Well I just happened to stumble upon a great little show.  Perhaps you may have heard of it....Hoarders.  I kid you not, I folded laundry to Season 1 of Hoarders all day and night long.  I have done at least 10 loads today and have about 3 more that need to be washed.  I think that might be some kind of record for me.  Lets just say that seeing the filth that other people live in made me get uber motivated to get the laundry washed, dried, folded and put away.  I didn't even wait for the kids....I am gettin it done!  Nothing like seeing a mom and dad lose their kids because their home is so filled with crap.  During the sorting process, I must admit that I gagged quite a few times just smelling some of my children's dirty clothes.  And our dog kept coming in the laundry room.  I had this strange urge to dip him in Clorox....and then I gagged a little more.  One side benefit of all this gagging in the copious amounts of water that I have been drinking to quell the gag that on more than one occasion could have produced actual vomit.  Was it the rotting pumpkin episode or the 76 dead cats episode?  I don't know, but it was hard for me to make dinner tonight just thinking about it.  

To make matters worse, or better all depending on how you look at it, Patrick and I told the kids that we would decorate the tree tonight.  He brought down all the decorations from the attic (what a neat invention!  This is the first house that I have lived in with an attic and it's quite cool).  While he was stringing the lights, I decided to go through all the boxes quickly.  Low and behold, because I have been so engrossed in Hoarders, began to purge with reckless abandon.  Lights that didn't work?  Tossed them.  Decorations and ribbon that didn't match my color theme?  Tossed them.  Then I happened upon a box that had our stockings, a motherload of little fake ivy vines in it, and various bows in all the wrong colors.  Well as fate would have it, it smelled like cat piss!  Gagging and purging go hand in hand on this one!  I yelled for a glass of water.  I got rid of 2 totes of Christmas stuff and then washed my hands 3 times....gross!!!!  I guess I was inspired to make new stockings out of a cable knit blanket that was on clearance for $4.  

Tomorrow, I am tackling the refrigerator to season 2.  If any of you need motivation to clean....I have found the holy grail of cleaning energy....Hoarders.  Enjoy!!  

What I Can Give Up And Still Be Just Peachy

1. For 2 weeks, I can give up laundry.  You'd be amazed at how many times you can wear the same clothes when you don't have a little baby slobbering all over it.
2. I can give up making my bed.  I can go a month and not tuck a sheet in.  Nope...I hate making the bed.  I practically have lived in it the last 2 weeks, so I think I might need to change the sheets...gross!
3. I haven't even attempted to clean the Fridge in the last month.  Something must be done...PRONTO!  There are things growing in the tupperware and although it doesn't stink, I can tell it's almost there.
4. I haven't washed the car in two months...shocking!  I know...my little plan of always having a grey or brown car is working...
5. I can go 5 days without a phone.  I really am not much of a phone person.  I use it for the apps mostly and to check email.  But otherwise, I could do without verbal communication.  Sorry people.  I let my phone die and only charge it occasionally.  I'm more of an emailer....is that a word yet?
6. I don't have to have a big bathtub to be happy.  Having a bathtub, even a small one, does the job and since I am shrinking, it's not that confining.
7. I could be completely fine without going grocery shopping.  In fact, the more I think about it...I might just have to give it up as my new years resolution.  With the invention of the Internet and places like Organic to You, it seems fruitless to step into a store.
8. I could totally forgo a movie player in my car.  We have one.  It never gets used...ever.  I don't know why, but now my kids love to sing songs instead.  They just don't need the distraction.  Fine by me.
9. I could never go on a big vacation and still be fine.  I don't like planning, packing, tending, mapping, itinerary, or doing all the laundry and unpacking after.  Maybe this will be different after the kids are out of the house, but for now, I can live without vacations.  My husband cannot....bummer.
10. And last but not least, I could live without ever stepping foot in a mall.  I haven't been in a very long time.  If I needed something from a "mall store" I'd just buy it online.  It's not that I hate shopping, I just don't like clothes shopping.  Stick me in a little holiday bazaar and I'd go nuts I tell you NUTS!  So I don't go because I really don't need to spend money on things.  This year, I purchased 90% of our gifts through the Internet or I made them.

There you go.  What is expendable to you?

I've climbed that Mountain...

What is the  Mount Everest of Motherhood?  

 I climb it almost every week!  Well the Mount Everest of laundry that is...

After scouring the Internet, I have finally conquered my Everest!  

#1. I have the kids bring there dirty laundry in and separate it into three bins.

#2. Whites, colors, and darks are clearly labeled and all but the youngest kid can figure it out.  These are laminated to last.  I used to have white bins but when the handles finally broke off, I began to color coordinate....

#3. See that nifty window in my Laundry, well it doubles as a mirror at night where I can practice my latest dance move while folding the laundry hot out of the dryer...how is this possible you may ask? (Yes, that valance is hung with clothespins I painted green!)

#4.  Well just above the 3 sorting bins is 8 smaller green bins that are arranged from oldest to youngest and one for socks.  Once the clothes are folded, they go straight into the corresponding bin.

#5.  When a bin gets full, said child or spouse, puts their clothes away and brings back the green bin or else I may inflict pain.

 #6. Why all this craziness?  Well my laundry room is also right off of the garage and it doubles as a mud room.  See my children's coats and helmets?  Well if I didn't organize it, I wouldn't be able to get to the freezer!

#7. Of course it also helps if you decorate it with cute little trinkets like these knobs I found pre distressed.  I don't mind laundry so much anymore, because if I don't get it done in a day, it doesn't matter.  All the clothes are neatly organized and I have finally conquered the Everest of Motherhood!

It's Black and White

I might be good at it...but it doesn't mean that I like it...

Naked

Don't fret...I'm not about to show you pictures of my creamy white self...just my brain.  I lay it before you in all its splendor for anyone to peruse.

A long time ago, I realized that I don't fit in a nice little category.  My inner sanctum is like a picture of what my thoughts might consist of at any given moment.  It's not perfectly designed, more like sporadic flashes of insanity and creativity all mixed together with vibrant color.  I have pictures of what is most important to me,

books that I read that seep into my soul, quotes that bring me strength, songs playing that inspire me, projects that I am in some stage of finishing, and occasionally a little boy playing Lego's is on the floor beside me.
There is room for others in my brain, but by invitation only.

 I can sit in my rocking chair and console a child or stare out the window to my rose garden.  Of course, I have supplies to scrapbook, knit, crochet, stamp, draw, paint, sew, embroider, write, compose, meditate, design, and read.

Speaking of reading...what is in your personal bookshelf?

From an old missionary journal and a country living survival book to books by Hugh Nibley and a book on how to spice up your night life if you get my drift.  I have a book from the 60's on how to be a good homemaker and a new one that has apron pattern ideas in it.  Of course I have a book on Obama and a Book of Mormon from my mission.  I have a dance composition book and the complete works of Shakespeare.  Is that varied enough for you?  Didn't I tell you that I don't fit into anyone's mold?







Current projects include ribbon and fabric flower pins, lyrics for a song entitled Green, cotton washcloths, 2 sets of draperies, and of course, photography stuff.

One thing I have learned as I have carefully placed every item in this room is that I am my Father's Daughter.  He is the Creator, and I am His Child. 

And now more than ever, I can honestly say that there is no one quite like me.  I am unique and happy surrounded my chaotic, energetic room.  It might not be a calm, zen oasis, but to me, it is as close to Heaven as I can get....

The Master (following the theme of Art for September)

Today, I became well acquainted with my room.  Nothing brings you closer together than spending every waking (and non-waking) moment together.  I really have a great appreciation for my bed today.  As I lay moaning in agony, waiting for the next wave of pain to hit, I enjoyed the heavy blankets, the red lamps  

and the fan in the background that knocks out all unwanted noise.  I have to admit, I have a profound love for my bed.  My Temperpedic and I have had a great relationship.  He supports me and I continue to move his heavy butt all around Oregon.  So in tribute to him, here is where I spent most of my time today, pondering cross contamination of gluten foods with non gluten foods.  I'll tell you one thing, if you don't understand what being a Celiac is like, next time I'll invite you to my own private hell when a crumb gets ingested inadvertently. 

(I'm fully aware of the overdone color scheme, but the bathroom has red tile and a red hexagon sink...it works.  Besides, the only thing I had to buy to make it work was the new red lamp shades that make anyone look gorgeous and create quite the mood too.  :)  Oh and my romantic heart just loves the art "The Swing" and "Romeo and Juliet" that go perfectly in a red, white and green room)

(the other side of the room with "Romeo" and some random piece of art I picked up a few years ago...not really done with this side of the room yet, but it's functional.)

I Worship at the Feet of Caroline Ingalls

I was enjoying my quiet house at 10:45 all by myself. My DH was busy praying at the temple about some big changes in our life and I was taking a very hot bath. When what do I hear? But the mad squawking of chickens trying to jump the coop. I immediately bound out of the tub, narrowly escaping a swift landing on the tailbone due to the wet floor and race over to the window. Frantically, I grab the first thing that cannot break and throw it in the general direction of the noise. No, it wasn't to shut those hens up, but to scare the SKUNK! Yes, we have had a visitor in our backyard for a couple of weeks now. Evidently he likes free range eggs just as much as me. I'll give him that, he has good taste. But I am sure my neighbors don't like having chickens wandering around in their front yards...I mean it is suburbia after all.
So I was pissed. That dang skunk wasn't going to keep doing this. And being the stubborn woman that I am, grabbed a red silky robe and ran down the stairs to finally take care of that skunk once and for all. No one was messin with my hens!
I frantically searched for a flashlight and turned on the porch light. I grabbed the hoe that just so happened to be teetering right next to the sliding glass door. Only when I stepped out, did I realize that I was still dripping wet and not fully clothed, but I was on a mission.
The hoe in hand and flashlight staring down that skunk I made my move...called him like a hide and seek game...come out, come out where ever you are little stupid skunk! Oh yeah, I knew I could be sprayed at any minute but I had a firm resolve. The only thing going through my mind was "I wonder how Caroline Ingalls would deal with this?" After searching high and low for the skunk and finding 2 errant chickens perched on the fence, I decided that Mr. Skunk was gone and it was more important to save myself the embarrassment of trying to chase chickens down the road. I shook Christian awake and he unconsciously made it outside to help me get the birds. Surprisingly easy actually to catch birds in the middle of the night. So now the hens were back in their house. The porch light was on and then I realized that I probably had just given my neighbors a show....still in the first thing I grabbed, a red silk robe...NICE! So not a Caroline Ingalls thing to do!

Oh Caroline, can I meld the farm life and the city life together much longer? It was easy when the coyotes ate all the skunks and the big dog scared off the little critters. Now I still get dead mice on my doorstep from my cats and I enjoy the fresh eggs, but I can't just fly outside half naked to chase down a varmint in the middle of the night. Dang it! Oh Caroline what would you do?

I Have Not Died

On average, I have 33 assignments a week. Yes, you read that right. So needless to say I am one busy lady! My blog is completely neglected. My house on the other hand is running swimmingly. You may ask, how the heck is that possible? Well I happen to be taking an organizational communications class and I am implementing everything I learn to my household. If ever you wanted a class on how to be a homemaker, just take this class. We have discussed everything from motivational theories to systems metaphors (the latter is more like math and makes my brain hurt but it really works). So my home is staying clean. I am no longer bombarded by stray dishes, errant shoes, toys on the stairs, and a filthy kitchen. The kids do it. They police themselves and I wont go into details until I know for sure it's sticking but basically, my job is to cook dinner everynight, do the grocery shopping, do the laundry on Thursday and vacuum. Pretty sweet deal for everyone. (Yes, I have someone come in and clean my bathrooms and kitchen 2 times a month because I really need them CLEAN) I'm still the mommy in addition to my household chores, but I don't do dishes, clean up after anyone and the house is running like a well oiled machine. Whatever grade I get in my class pales in comparison to the fringe benefits of a household running at an efficient level. Now about that abnormal psych class....Hah!

Mommy Rhapsody (Mother's Day Opening 2010)

I've been labeled...

Huh?  Evidently they have developed a name for me...Femivore.  Check out the article and see what you think.

This blog brought to you by...

Little old me who finally, after a failed attempt at a Clear USB for my laptop, hooked up the wireless internet throughout the house.  So I am using this opportunity to pat myself on the back a little.  Pat Pat.  I know how to do lots of things that most people rarely attempt.  And sometimes, I feel like Stuart Smalley who stares in the mirror and says, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonit, people like me!"  Do any of you out there have this retarded character flaw that comes out when people compliment you...you say oh well if you only saw how dirty my house was or tell everyone that you don't even know if your kids are wearing socks to school today, when people tell you how wonderful you are?  It's just me right?  Shame on me and the fake humility.  Confidence is not pride.  God gave me some serious gifts that I really enjoy.  One of them is independence.  If I don't know how to do something, gosh darnit, I am going to figure out how and get it done, or try my hardest and then consult a professional.  I'm strange that way.  But I feel bad, when someone says that they would love to be able to do all the things I do.  It doesn't have anything to do with smarts or talent, it is shear stubborn independence...left over from my 2year old self.  I can do it by myself gosh darnit!...echo's in my ears from the distant past.

So in an attempt to toot my own horn I am just going to write down all the stuff I am doing or have done in the past month that I deserve a pat on the back for...because like it or not, the most important person that should be impressed with me, is me.  I am more important to myself than anyone else (can you tell I am in therapy right now?)!
1. I can get my kids to church on time without help from my spouse.
2. I can hook up a washer and a gas dryer singlehandedly.
3. I can hook up the internet modem and wireless router.
4. I manage 5 different children's schedules and manage to make it to almost everything (95%)
5. I change light fixtures
6. I paint walls
7. I sew drapes
8. I cook healthy meals
9. I know when something is wrong with my car (and if I only had one of those boards with wheels and a few blocks, gosh darnit, I'd try and fix my own car!)
10. I am going back to college
11. I asked for a calling...and got one.
12. I am unpacking a house singlehandedly
13. I manage a household in which my husband is gone 60+ hours a week working on top of playing basketball 3 days a week, choir practice for a local performance group, and a demanding calling at church.
14. I sing my kids to sleep almost every night
15. I fixed the bath drain
16. I stand up for myself

Thanks for letting me gush a little.  I needed it.  If I can't actually apply what I learn to myself,  then I have no business going to school to be a Psychologist.

Neighbor Gifts

If you were in Sherwood this Christmas season, this is what you would get.  Granted, I should have just given out a bottle of Martinelli's and called it good, but I have no ability to do something in a small way.  It just goes against my very nature.  So with lovely plates that Patrick picked up at Tai Pan 3 years ago, I plated yummy gifts for a few of our closest friends.  Please don't feel bad if you didn't get one.  I only had 8 plates so it was a very limited selection this year.

Pumpkin cookies drizzled with chocolate glaze ( these are addictive!), Paula Deen's Cinnamon Toast Pecans, Dark Chocolate Walnut Fudge, Dark Chocolate Marshmallow Fudge, Coconut Macaroons, and Glazed Sugar Cookies...(Who am I kidding?  They are all addictive!)  Hope they were enjoyed and to all of you that didn't get a plate of love, know that if I wasn't moving, you would have been on my list!

My thanksgiving Menu...

Usually, we have people over on Thanksgiving.  And I am notorious for making way too much food.  This year, we are keeping it simple because my parents happen to be in Barbados for the holiday.  Rough for them right?  So I am not going all out.  But rather, I am keeping it simple.  I'm still making my traditional Southern Ham which is a time consuming process, but besides that, nothing special.  Instead of homemade sausage stuffing, it's Stove Top.  Instead of homemade rolls, it's cresents in a tube.  I am making mash potatoes with cream and a homemade sweetpotato dish and a glorious dessert or two.  But all in all, it's pretty low key around here.

Which brings me to a conclusion that I just realized.  Holidays are not about decorating and gifts, and all the stuff that goes along with it, it's about the cooking and the people.  If I get to cook, it's my favorite holiday.  I love easter, because I usually host it.  I love Thanksgiving, because I usually cook for most of it. I love get togethers at my house because I cook for them...the common denominator includes me and the kitchen.  I love cooking!  I am so thankful that I do it well.  My mother, bless her messed up heart, can't make rice a roni right.  It is not her nature.  Thankfully, my stepmother was the world's best cook and inspired me when I was young.  So today, while I am not going all out, I will be teaching both my girls the basics of the Thanksgiving.  Hopefully, they will learn to love it as much as I do.

Who knows, maybe it's just about the Ham!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Cinderella Saturday

I did flowers for one wedding yesterday. Today, I decorated the cultural hall for another one. My house has exploded...and I don't care. My life is really fun right now. This kind of stuff is like taking really good drugs. It feeds my creative needs. I'd do it everyday if I could. The ladies that helped me with the flowers were expressing that it was hard for them to be so creative and it was stressful for them. They also have very clean and organized homes...we each have our talents.

Speaking of clean and organized homes, it's going to be Cinderella Saturday around here. I'm talking pre prince stage...soot and cinder stage, work you to the bone and have a smile on your face while doing it kind of Saturday. My poor children...I'm not even their Step-Mother!

My Wonder Woman Cape Is Getting A Little Tight...

...must take a break. Don't get me wrong, I love to fly. Nothing makes me happier than feeling the wind in my hair as I blast through another super hero day. Saving souls and weddings and new homes and babysitting. Can't I do it all? I'm Super Woman aren't I?

NO! I am about ready to crash and burn. When did I wake up and realize that I could be the allusive and oh so sexy Wonder Woman? The boots are hot, and the head band is so retro, but it just isn't a good look on me. My super powers are starting to fizzle. Why you ask? Well I love to be everything to everyone. Love it! I love to save the day and save a soul and to save money and save a friend. It's my nature. Oh...and I wanted to to something for myself too. I always forget about myself. But who can do it all? Surely Wonder Woman right? Well I have come to the conclusion that Wonder Woman did not have kids nor a significant other. She was a slave to her job and serving. That is all she did. She didn't have a calling in her church, or friends to help out. So why oh why do I think that I can do it all? I blame the media...yeah that's it....the media.

Really it's my own fault. It's time to take the big red S off of my chest and reevaluate. Yes, I can blog everyday. Writing 2000 words a day in my first novel, you bet. Help with flowers for a wedding on Friday, no problem. Sounds like fun. Decorating for another wedding on Saturday, bring it. Teaching the gospel to an investigator every Sunday for 5 hours, happy to do it. Drive all my children to all their various activities, all in a days work. Babysitting for a friend who works, who doesn't want another little friend around to keep my kids occupied? Keeping up with me email, a breeze. Making gifts for everyone for Christmas, isn't that what every good mother does? Serving in my calling, doesn't everyone do this? Housework, necessary but not impossible. Laundry, we all have to be clothed don't you know? Eating, it's good especially if it's homemade and requires at least 3 pots. Putting out fires with relatives, all with the flick of the wrist. Taking care of your husband's needs, it's fun right? Helping a friend design a new home, isn't this what I went to school for? Of course I have to make time for myself like exercising and taking a Hip Hop class and having lunch with friends, I'd go insane if I didn't. Oh, and I have to go measure my own newly acquired house and pick out paint colors, isn't this what I have waited for? And don't get me started on the yard, it has to be done before it freezes. So why am I so tired? All of these things are either necessary or just plain flat out fun. These things bring me oodles of joy, so much so that it is overflowing. But I think I might just be overdoing it a tad. By the way, this is just this week.

Like I say, that cape is choking me, but man it sure is pretty.....

(sorry I don't have time to edit this one...run on sentences, fragments galore, and probably a misspelling or two...)

Tackling That Pesky Pile

Really, you all have one. Somewhere on a shelf or a counter is that precarious pile of stuff that seems to grow with each passing day. Ours is a corner counter that was meant for the telephone, the kind in the old days, that didn't need electricity. Since I don't even own a phone that has a cord, it was of no use to me. It became the haven for mail, screwdrivers, matches, homework, missing library books, random CD's, hats, ties, recipes and various plugs. Seeing that it was about to topple over, I tackled that bad boy today while watching Grey's Anatomy online. Bills opened (which, recently, has become my responsibility again) and sorted, homework filed in the kids folders, garbage thrown away and a random package of SweetTarts devoured in the process. Who says being organized doesn't have it's rewards? :)

I Bought a Brain Today

Am I the only mother in the world who struggles with short term memory loss? I know I am not alone! Since when is it my job to keep everyone in check when it comes to homework folders, sports and dance practices, appointments for various things and do it all in my brain? Before kids, I could keep volumes of info stored in my head and never wrote anything down, from phone numbers to directions. Now there is some sort of delay button that has been switched to the permanent ON position. Never do I forget to do something, honestly. It just so happens that I remember late...like hours or days late. In a moment of clarity, while basking in the glow of Target's aisles, I happened upon a white board that was sectioned with days of the week and a list on one side.
Never again will I hear the excuse, you never told me about that. Or I thought that was next week...NO! Mama's brain will now be hanging on the wall for everyone to see. Stop asking me...go look at the board!

Winco Parking Lot Peril

So last night, as my dear husband and I laid in bed with the laptop open, I thought back to my Dave Ramsey day last Saturday. He exclaimed that their is always a "nerd" and a "free spirit" when it comes to money management. Usually the nerd is the penny pincher though and the free spirit is the spender. This is not the case with Patrick and I. Frugal is my middle name. Without Patrick, I would never have any fun. But I can't stand crunching numbers for endless hours. My attention span is 15 minutes tops. You may ask, why am I blogging about this. Well Monday wouldn't have gone as smoothly if it weren't for that 15 minutes spent scouring over the budget while I went over my to do list for the week. At 10:48 I said no more...by 10:55 I had the covers over my head and wasn't paying attention. I got it. I knew what needed to be paid, how much was left over and I was done I tell you.
So this morning, as I rose with the sun in my face, I knew I could conquer the millions of little things that I needed to do because I had a plan. Part of this plan was going to Winco. I haven't been in months but it was time to stock up on things and no one does this better than Winco. Braving the crowded aisles, getting overwhelmed at the selection of bulk items, bagging 193.00 worth of groceries was quite a chore. My two little helpers were not angels, but the fruit leather I bribe them with always seems to do the trick. As I precariously pushed my cart to the car, the bananas dropped and I rolled over a few. Did I curse under my breath? Maybe, but I am not telling! Picking up mushed banana, corralling 2 kids across a parking lot, loading van that has oodles more space than the Tahoe, were all done in stride with the sun on my face and sporting a Cheryl Tiegs hair cut from the early 80's.(think windswept waves)(this picture is deceiving because there are 2 rows of paper bags, 25lbs of sugar, 20lbs of dog food, and a mammoth amount of kitty litter tucked under the seats.) My hair was even blowing in the wind. After the 10 minutes it took to get 2 anxious boys into the car and the groceries all placed in their proper position so that even the most treacherous corner would not yield smashed bread and broken chips, I started the car. No sooner did I turn my key, than a nice old lady in a brand new Prius drove into the space next to me. She flung her door open, hitting my aging van and hurried away. Granted, my car is old and probably has so many dings in it that this new one would never be noticed. But she could see me. Maybe a mouthed sorry or an oops? NO! Not a word. As I was pulling out, I noticed that her nice new red Prius was parked over the line on my side and their was enough room on the other side to park a large motorcycle....nice. This is what I don't like about Winco. The lure of cheap food makes people driven to search out a bargain. No smiles, no service, just get in, navigate the chaos, and get out...hurry, hurry, hurry! I really like Fred Meyer. Service with a smile. But alas, all that budget talk at 10:30 at night made me rethink and change to Winco to save a dime or two. Sigh...even the Costco lady that checks your receipt gives you a little sharpie smiley face. Never underestimate the power of a smile.

Mondays...

Extreme Makeover Home Addition is my guilty Monday pleasure. It starts my week off right by remembering how blessed I am. Crying my eyes out sounds like fun first thing Monday morning doesn't it? Well, it works for me. Right now I'm eating homemade Whole Wheat Oatmeal Crackers that are just yummy. Last night, my family couldn't decide what was better, the Carmel Apple Crisp or these crackers. This leads me to wonder when did we become so dependent on the supermarket shelves? My crackers didn't have anything in them I couldn't pronounce or chemically processed up the ying yang. I fully recoginize that it takes tons more time to make everything by scratch and some of you just don't have the time. (Literally took 20 minutes to mix and bake 2 pans of crackers...less time than it would have taken me to go to the store.) But I do have the time. So instead of instant oatmeal from the store, I made my own last night...24 bags of Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Packets. And now I'm off to the pumpkin patch to buy real pumpkins and cook them so I can have frozen pumpkin puree in my freezer. You never know when a craving for Pumpkin Chocolate Chips cookies will strike and I have it on good authority that Safeway's supply of Pumpkin puree is going to be severly lacking this year due to some supply issue. So there you have it peeps. Fall is underway and the baker in me is coming out full swing.

I Love Crazy!

Note: this is not me, just some random woman who just happens to look like I felt


Crazy is usually used as a derogatory term, but in my case, I think it fits me to a tee. Yesterday was just another crazy day in the life of my family. Saturday is filled to the brim with activity and I drink it all in as Anne of Green Gables would say.

Our day started off with us getting up at a decent hour of 8. The children stuffed their faces with toast and eggs. Patrick drove Christian to football practice and I actually blew my hair dry and put on a tiny bit of makeup. (good thing too because this day gets pretty interesting) Feeding the dog, OOPS, forgot to buy dog food, so the burnt toast and a dozen scrambled eggs would have to tide the guy over. After getting all the remaining children ready for soccer or spectating, I waited outside for Patrick to drive up. He arrived in time for us to load up and get Anderson to his soccer game a few minutes late.

We watched our awesome Kindergartner save the day and score 3 goals. Mark my words, you will see his name in lights for some kind of athletic prowess. The kid is a phenom on the field. He actually ran 11 laps at the fun run on Friday...more than any other kid I have heard of. Then we left early, before snack which is the reason that some of those kids even like soccer, and rushed to the football game across town.

Christian's team was dominating. Looking frantically for Janye, the kids newly adopted grandma since none of their REAL grandparents ever come to any of their games, we finally ran her down and proceeded to watch Sherwood hand Wilson their butts on a turf platter. Janye brought a Costco box of Rice Krispie treats. Definitely will go down as one of their all time favorite games as they snarfed down 34 rice crispy treats in an hour. Good grandma style though! Did I mention that I rarely remember to feed my bottomless pits? Lunch wasn't going to happen so 34 rice and marshmallow squares would have to do. After giving Vicki, my wonderful Aunt who came to watch as well, and Janye, their homemade jam, we were off to pick up Madeline from the airport.

We had 30 minutes. Did I mention that United Airlines woke me up at 3:45am to tell me that I needed to pay them another $100 for Madeline's safe return home? Did I mention that I keep my wallet in my car? Did I mention that we have no outside lighting and that I was zombie walking in the middle of the night trying to recite my credit card number to a crabby easterner who wasn't very nice? Anyway, we were there right on time and she was early...figures. We all crammed in the car and the kids and parents alike bombarded her with questions. Then the gifts came out. Patrick decided to drop a bomb on us at this point and let us know that we were going in for an audition for a travel documentary in Oregon. What the HELLO?!

Meeting with a casting firm was not on my agenda, but in order to appease my husbands unique idea of fun, we proceeded to downtown Portland with 5 dirty kids, 2 of which stunk to high heaven after their respective games. We filled out forms, including descriptions of ourselves that just happened to mention our weights and heights. Why? Why does anybody need to know how much I weigh? Just look at my photo...and take a wild guess. I guarantee that I don't look like I weigh as much as I do. My bones were dipped in steel when I hit puberty. That's my story and I am sticking to it. After sitting for 2 hours amongst families with their perfectly dressed "Gap Ad" kids and their skinny model head shots...head shots?...what has Patrick gotten us into now?...I actually was quite happy with our little performance and my kids shined! Who cared if Evan just cut his hair off and my kids weren't wearing socks. They were my "normal" and I loved each of their little quirks. At least we are in the database and if the next Twilight movie needs a middle aged curvy woman that can cook, well I'm your girl! Secretly, I think that Brighten would make a perfect love child of Edward and Belle. She could scare the crap out of any self respecting human, just put some fangs on her and watch her scream her cute little head off!

Any way, by this time the rice krispy sugar high had worn off and Madeline's secret stash of Dr. Pepper Jelly Belly's had been exhausted, so we headed to Izzy's to feed the hyenas. Gorged isn't the right word I would use, but lets just say that my food budget has increased sizably in the last few months. I've never seen my kids eat so much ice cream! I see all you can eat joints in my future. 3 boys will soon be 3 teenage boys and Costco will become my primary grocery store... As we still only have one car and Patrick's BIG BOSS will be coming to check on them on Monday, we had to make a trip to Office Depot. It took him an hour to get everything while we sat in the car and watched The King and I. Did I mention how much I love having a DVD player in the vehicle? The sugar high was starting to wear off completely and we had some pretty cranky kids at this point. I thought Madeline's head was going to explode! Jet lag and 4 loud siblings did not sit well with her.

We arrived home at 8pm. Madeline immediately went into hysterics at the site of her messy room. OOPS! There was cat litter everywhere. I really should pay more attention to Brighten and Anderson. They are like Thing 1 and Thing 2...always making a mess and leaving the aftermath behind. So as Patrick went straight to work, I was barking out orders for Christian to pick up the kitchen floor, sending Thing 1 and Thing 2 immediately to bed with tear filled screams of unfairness and vacuuming up litter off of a very tired preteen girl's bed. Cats smell. We have 4 now. I am so done with animals. Isn't 5 kids enough already?

Evan decided that the 5 minute snooze in the car was enough to give him his second wind and he would not go to bed. This is where all that sugar comes back to bite me in the Butt...and so after everyone was in bed except for Evan, I snuggled up next to him with my IPod and tried to pretend to sleep. He was out in 45 minutes and Mommy really wanted to go to sleep too. But where was Patrick? He wasn't done. So I went to sleep...well I tried. Then he comes to bed and wants to talk...he had too much sugar too and was hopelessly impossible to talk to. Around and around in circles the conversation went. So I did what any self respecting woman in need of sleep has to do and did the only thing that I knew would knock him out...enough said. I finally crashed at midnight.

That was my day. It was crazy. Most days are crazy around here. Are their parts I'd like to change? Sure, but I love crazy because that means I am living and I am grateful for that!