What I Can Give Up And Still Be Just Peachy

1. For 2 weeks, I can give up laundry.  You'd be amazed at how many times you can wear the same clothes when you don't have a little baby slobbering all over it.
2. I can give up making my bed.  I can go a month and not tuck a sheet in.  Nope...I hate making the bed.  I practically have lived in it the last 2 weeks, so I think I might need to change the sheets...gross!
3. I haven't even attempted to clean the Fridge in the last month.  Something must be done...PRONTO!  There are things growing in the tupperware and although it doesn't stink, I can tell it's almost there.
4. I haven't washed the car in two months...shocking!  I know...my little plan of always having a grey or brown car is working...
5. I can go 5 days without a phone.  I really am not much of a phone person.  I use it for the apps mostly and to check email.  But otherwise, I could do without verbal communication.  Sorry people.  I let my phone die and only charge it occasionally.  I'm more of an emailer....is that a word yet?
6. I don't have to have a big bathtub to be happy.  Having a bathtub, even a small one, does the job and since I am shrinking, it's not that confining.
7. I could be completely fine without going grocery shopping.  In fact, the more I think about it...I might just have to give it up as my new years resolution.  With the invention of the Internet and places like Organic to You, it seems fruitless to step into a store.
8. I could totally forgo a movie player in my car.  We have one.  It never gets used...ever.  I don't know why, but now my kids love to sing songs instead.  They just don't need the distraction.  Fine by me.
9. I could never go on a big vacation and still be fine.  I don't like planning, packing, tending, mapping, itinerary, or doing all the laundry and unpacking after.  Maybe this will be different after the kids are out of the house, but for now, I can live without vacations.  My husband cannot....bummer.
10. And last but not least, I could live without ever stepping foot in a mall.  I haven't been in a very long time.  If I needed something from a "mall store" I'd just buy it online.  It's not that I hate shopping, I just don't like clothes shopping.  Stick me in a little holiday bazaar and I'd go nuts I tell you NUTS!  So I don't go because I really don't need to spend money on things.  This year, I purchased 90% of our gifts through the Internet or I made them.

There you go.  What is expendable to you?

Boobs...yeah, you read it right.

If you can't laugh at this...don't read on.

Whatever you want to call them, if you are a woman, you have them.  They come in all different shapes and sizes.  Some are fighting southern migration and others are like the Egyptian pyramids.  We woman fret about them so.  Men are fascinated by these wonderful glands of ours.

I have a love/hate relationship with mine.  On one hand, I loved nursing my kids, they balance my backside, and make me feel like a woman when I really don't feel like one.  On the other hand, I have underwires pushing into my armpits, permanent channels molded into my shoulders to hold up said mounds, and sometimes they are just too fascinating that no one looks into my eyes.  Heck, Oprah has an hour long show at least once a year on wearing the right bra.

But my biggest pet peeve about these girls, is buying a holster for them...that's right a HOLSTER!  With all the hooks, wires, and space age materials used, you can understand why you actually have to budget for a month to purchase one.  I mourned the loss of one of my bras today...the underwire finally succumbed to the pressure and busted in two.  It was sad...she had been with me for years.  She worked hard, bless her pink, lightly padded soul.

So today, my new plan included buying a new bra.  How hard can that be right?  Victoria Secret or Target, their are many styles and colors to adorn your girls with.  But me... I can't be normal can I?  I had to go to a special store and guess what...they are growing!!!  Are you kidding me?!  I'm not growing, gaining weight, pregnant, so this cannot be?  Maybe its the American obsession with resizing right?  Clothing manufacturers are actually relabeling bigger sizes to smaller sizes in order to dupe us into believing that we are not getting bigger....the exact opposite for boobs right?  At least that is what I am telling myself.  So I try on my size...too small.  I go get the next size and all they have are bullet proof bras.  I am talking padding so thick you can hide under this baby in an earthquake and not get a scratch on you!  So I find a couple of different styles and one that isn't padded for Armaggedon and go into the dressing room.  While proceeding to put this over the shoulder boulder holder on, I notice that this particular bra has a air filled pocket in it...my head is about to explode!!!  TMI...but I wear a 38/40 F!  Not an A or B or even a C...but a freakin F and they have an insert to make them BIGGER!!!!   What is this world coming to?  Yes, not only do I want to pad these personal size watermelons, but lets make them a little bigger so you can get even more attention drawn to your chest.  Sounds logical to me...NOT!  I kept thinking that maybe this store was just for hoochies and drag queens.  Evidently, I can have even more cleavage if I really want it...but don't hug me too hard, I might pop!

Don't worry, I found exactly 2 that were worth wearing.  I don't think we can eat anything but mac and cheese for 2 weeks to afford them, but trust me, you don't want me going African on you....

So all you ladies with cute bras that are normal and fashionable...I have bra envy.  Sometimes the grass on the other side is held together with superglue and teflon coated steel!

Winco Parking Lot Peril

So last night, as my dear husband and I laid in bed with the laptop open, I thought back to my Dave Ramsey day last Saturday. He exclaimed that their is always a "nerd" and a "free spirit" when it comes to money management. Usually the nerd is the penny pincher though and the free spirit is the spender. This is not the case with Patrick and I. Frugal is my middle name. Without Patrick, I would never have any fun. But I can't stand crunching numbers for endless hours. My attention span is 15 minutes tops. You may ask, why am I blogging about this. Well Monday wouldn't have gone as smoothly if it weren't for that 15 minutes spent scouring over the budget while I went over my to do list for the week. At 10:48 I said no more...by 10:55 I had the covers over my head and wasn't paying attention. I got it. I knew what needed to be paid, how much was left over and I was done I tell you.
So this morning, as I rose with the sun in my face, I knew I could conquer the millions of little things that I needed to do because I had a plan. Part of this plan was going to Winco. I haven't been in months but it was time to stock up on things and no one does this better than Winco. Braving the crowded aisles, getting overwhelmed at the selection of bulk items, bagging 193.00 worth of groceries was quite a chore. My two little helpers were not angels, but the fruit leather I bribe them with always seems to do the trick. As I precariously pushed my cart to the car, the bananas dropped and I rolled over a few. Did I curse under my breath? Maybe, but I am not telling! Picking up mushed banana, corralling 2 kids across a parking lot, loading van that has oodles more space than the Tahoe, were all done in stride with the sun on my face and sporting a Cheryl Tiegs hair cut from the early 80's.(think windswept waves)(this picture is deceiving because there are 2 rows of paper bags, 25lbs of sugar, 20lbs of dog food, and a mammoth amount of kitty litter tucked under the seats.) My hair was even blowing in the wind. After the 10 minutes it took to get 2 anxious boys into the car and the groceries all placed in their proper position so that even the most treacherous corner would not yield smashed bread and broken chips, I started the car. No sooner did I turn my key, than a nice old lady in a brand new Prius drove into the space next to me. She flung her door open, hitting my aging van and hurried away. Granted, my car is old and probably has so many dings in it that this new one would never be noticed. But she could see me. Maybe a mouthed sorry or an oops? NO! Not a word. As I was pulling out, I noticed that her nice new red Prius was parked over the line on my side and their was enough room on the other side to park a large motorcycle....nice. This is what I don't like about Winco. The lure of cheap food makes people driven to search out a bargain. No smiles, no service, just get in, navigate the chaos, and get out...hurry, hurry, hurry! I really like Fred Meyer. Service with a smile. But alas, all that budget talk at 10:30 at night made me rethink and change to Winco to save a dime or two. Sigh...even the Costco lady that checks your receipt gives you a little sharpie smiley face. Never underestimate the power of a smile.