Freezing My Butt off Along With Laughing My Butt Off

Movies and my family go hand in hand.  We all worked really hard today to make this house shine and as a reward/tradition, we were going to take the whole family out for a movie.  This is something that is so expensive when you have a basketball team worth of kids.  Well, our trusty Movies on 99W was playing MegaMind or Secretariat.   Well, after the slave driving I have been doing, I let the children choose....MegaMind it was.  Piling into the car, the children all sang the 50 Nifty United States in round until Patrick and I were about to stick knives in our ears, but we made it in 40 mins.  

The reason why we go to 99W is because it is cheap.  The snacks are half the price of Regal Cinemas and the admission is less than half the price. But....I think the way they keep the prices so low is because they do not HEAT the theater!  When we were leaving the house, Brighten had a meltdown because she couldn't find a coat.  Patrick, being the almost native Alaskan, thought a coat wasn't necessary.  Well I insisted that everyone had a coat.  As I sat shivering, waiting for the movie to start, I reminded Patrick that sometimes he needs to listen to me.  I usually have really great reasons for the things I insist upon.

The movie was great!  I would watch it again.  Why?  Well the soundtrack was worth it alone.  AC/DC and Guns and Roses provided for a fun backdrop of good vs evil gone awry.  The writing was witty and I actually laughed out loud several times.  This is a fun movie...just don't go see it at 99W unless you wear moon boots, gloves, a fur lined hat, and a parka.  The savings of $5 a person might not be worth the cold butt.

I'm British

Thanksgiving is over and we are all huddled around the TV. Watching movies together is a holiday tradition. Our dinner was over at 4...and the leftovers are already being eaten. The blueberry tart was sooo good! The stuffing will be fortifying our diet for the next few days. I will be making my own pumpkin pie tomorrow. I just can't get enough of this holiday!

Well since my diagnosis with Celiac, I have had to let go of yet another beverage. No Pero for me anymore. My kids are living off of cocoa, apple cider, and non-dairy cocoa. All of those drinks are far too sweet for me. So I have become a lover of tea. It's in my blood. My great grandmother came over from Britain when she was 19. She was a hat maker (millinery). Maybe that is why I have an obsession with Jane Austen and all British movies. Anyway, I have started drinking copious amounts of tea. I enjoy a little honey to take the bite off, but I can drink it straight too. Chamomile is a favorite for night. I have a detox tea, a fasting peach tea, a red zinger, a non caffeinated chai, a vanilla, and lemon. My daughters have become quite the tea drinkers as well. They favor berry flavors and licorice mint. So my only problem with my new beverage is all these little wet bags of spice. I just happened upon this little crazy invention that has changed my beverage drinking for the better. It's the Aladdin Tea infuser. I love this! It has a mesh basket that holds the bag and drops into the water. When your finished steeping, you just lift a lever and it stores it away until you are done drinking your tea. It's fabulous! If I was Oprah, I would totally put this on my list of favorite things. I'd even give it away to all my favorite people. Don't all go rush out an buy one, but if you are into tea, this might be a perfect stocking stuffer for yourself or someone you love. It's not under $5, but it's sure made my life easier without the need for a plate and a little wet bag laying around.

Beet It...Beet It...

I just can't stand it...being sick.  I have no idea what it means to just chill.  Ok, that is not true.  I chill plenty (you should see my house right now...YIKES!).  But when food needs to be canned, it needs to be canned!  So after a gracious day (really it was a great day filled with all things spiritual and comforting), I drove to the other side of town and helped my step-mom can beets.  You heard me right folks, beets.  These bad boys had to be coconut sized.  50lbs of beets canned and I did it all while I was sick.  What can I say?  Well if you tasted their sweet goodness, you'd understand.  What exactly am I doing with this interesting vegetable?  Well I'm putting them in smoothies because they are sweet and mixed with strawberries no one will know!  I'm a sneaky mom...all that calcium, iron, potassium and anti-oxidants will just casually start appearing in our menu and no one will even know!

My Dad

(Yes this is me as a newborn...mom is 21, dad is 22).

I'm a daddy's girl.  Plain and simple.  My father, with all of his flaws, still can make me melt into a puddle.  My dad sat next to me at my husbands concert last night.  He put his big strong arm around me and gave me a squeeze.  I cuddled right into him...he's my Daddy.  I never feel safer than I do in that moment.  Never.   Their is something special about the relationship between a father and a daughter.  He holds the moon no matter what.  He still calls me his "Little Girl", never Emily.   Our relationship is far from ideal, and we never spend much time together, but in just one moment, my gruff father can show me he loves me without words...and it's enough to last for years....

Thanksgiving...

I saw my mother for the first time in a year.  After writing her a rather honest letter, I expected a cold greeting.  I got one.  But it was nice to see that she was making an effort to see her family.  Only a daughter can know of her cold blank stare and what it meant....which brings me to my next point.   When dealing with someone that has a mental illness that causes harm to others, it is important to be honest with that person.  A while back she wrote me a letter, which she does every year, trying to manipulate and guilt me into a relationship with her.  It's very hard to reason with someone that has borderline personality disorder.  Relationships are extremely difficult and only can be salvaged on the part of the non mentally ill persons in their lives.  It' weird not having a relationship with my own mother, but it's really for the best.  She made an effort to see her family after the 10 or 11th time she has disowned them.  Maybe my honesty has made some sort of impact.  Loving imperfect people is not easy.  And protecting yourself and your family is more important than being someone's verbal punching bag...so it remains to be seen if she will seek help.  That is all I asked of her.  Seek help.  Go to therapy, take medication, make an effort.  Maybe she will...
Another surprise, I got to be the Super Aunty and take my 5 month old nephew Payden, for the night.  Jenn finally consented for us to steal him away.  The girls are already up and taking turns cooing at him. He slept by my side the whole night, preferring not to sleep in a crib.  Fine by me.  There is something about a little baby that just makes you overwhelmingly happy.  He is the cutest baby ever!  (Well except for my 5...)

Chart House, the Annual Tradition

Stacey and Tonya took me to a crazy movie right after Kevin died. It was serendipitous. Little did any of us know that is was all about a widow and how she fell in love after her husband had died. Ben Affleck and Gwenyth Paltrow did a great job...but it was definitely not the intended message that either of them wanted to provide me at the time. Then there was the Rugrats movie I watched just days after Kevin's death that was all about how Chucky's daddy gets remarried. He was a widower. It was as if Kevin was trying to speak to me through Hollywood! I can laugh about it now. It's really quite funny. Thing is, one of our last coherent conversations was about the fact that I was never going to get remarried. You say things like that when you really don't want your husband to die. The thought is just too revolting. But he made sure that I got it...it was ok and he really wanted me to move on. I did.

To make up for their little blunder, we began going to the Chart House to make a new memory. Now it has become a fabulous tradition to eat amazingly expensive seafood with a too die for view and hot lava chocolate cake with Heath Bar sprinkles. We enjoy each other's company. Sometimes we share our exciting lives and other times we are fuming over our trials, but it is a day to look forward to instead of dread.

Here's to many more happy memories Stacey. You always will be my widow buddy. Life keeps getting tougher for both of us, but we are tough cookies and we have great taste!

Being Sturdy

So sorry that you have to read all of my thoughts this month. But I promised myself that I would do this, so be patient....

I think I was born in the wrong century. When I was a young girl, I was scrawny and scrappy...think Anderson except a girl. Not only was I thin, but I was tall too. Being stuck between two brothers and having no sisters, I learned to take care of myself. I could do anything my brothers did. I wanted to fish and camp etc... Defending myself from flinging dog crap and the occasional wrestle mania on the living room floor was just how it was. Then puberty hit and my parents got divorced and I turned into a girl with hips and all the other important parts.

Now, I hate it. I hate that I can lift 2 fifty pound feed sacks at a time. Moving furniture singlehandedly, not a problem. Fixing broken stuff, my husband even fully admits that I am more skilled in this area than he. Healthy as a horse, yep that is me. No weird bizarre things are wrong with me. I have a strong back, strong arms, strong legs, a strong heart, all of which don't add up to a very feminine picture. (maybe that is why I love all things girly..cooking, sewing, decorating, etc...) Sure, I can handle alot. My pain tolerance is high. Bugs and dirt don't freak me out. Which leads me to think that I must have been meant for the mid to late 1800's not the 21 century.
Everywhere I look, their are petite little dew drops that get their nails done and are scraping in at 5'2".

Don't get me wrong, I love that I can be independent and strong...gettin it done! But sometimes a girl wants to feel towered over and small. Like she is just too fragile to lift that sofa or carry in the bags of groceries by herself. Sometimes being tall sucks.

Ok...now you know my secret desire. I want to be dainty just for a day...see how the other side lives.

What prompted this? I got a tooth pulled. It didn't hurt. No drugs afterward. I have a gaping wound in my mouth and I could care less. Makes me feel like I should have been a pioneer popping kids out on the trail and hoeing a row the next day. I know I should be grateful, I am. Just sometimes I want to feel like I need someone to protect me...so don't need that either. I have already taken on 6 black street smart girls in a battle to the death for $20 when I was 11. Intimidated?

On Mothering....

It is oh so fitting to do this post now. I recently had my 36th birthday and was reminded of my many mothers in my life.

My mother and I have been estranged for many years. Our interaction mainly consists of an occasional function every few years, a letter once a year and maybe a phone call once a year. Sounds quite drastic doesn't it? This year I got a letter a couple of months ago. Yes, she lives only an hour and half from me. She doesn't send the kids cards, call on birthdays, or attend family gatherings. She is sick. She had Borderline Personality Disorder among other things. My childhood was highly dysfunctional. But this is not a post about my horrible childhood. It's a post about how lucky I really am.

While I might not have a nurturing mother, I've learned a great deal from her. My mother is very creative, unafraid, independent, confident, frugal, and open. All of these qualities, she passed onto me. Despite all these wonderful traits that my mother gave me, she wasn't really a mother to me, so God sent me others to teach and guide me.

When I was very young girl of 7, I was invited over to a friends house to practice for a primary program. I stayed for dinner and what happened at that dinner table, forever changed my life. See, I had never sat a t a dinner table in my own home with my family before. So this act was completely foreign to me. But as we prayed and ate around candlelight, I felt the most amazing spirit of love. I decided then and there, that I was going to have this kind of family and this kind of love. So thank you Linda Matthews for your example.

As I grew, my parents eventual divorce led to a new woman in my life, my stepmother. She wasn't the warm and cuddly mom that I had longed for, but I am so grateful for the things she taught me. We went to fashion shows and fancy restaurants together. We ate like kings, traveled, and she opened a whole new world for me. I am the cook I am today because of her. My class, style, poise, ability to feel comfortable with all classes of people would be severely diminished without her to guide me. So thank you Coral.

As a teenager, I fully saw what I was missing because of my mother's illness, and God brought me my church mother. She took me under her wing and made sure I had someone to talk to. She got me through YW, helped me finish getting ready for college, gave me a job and a place to live. She came and visited me at school, and although I can't say for certain, probably helped pay for my mission. I brought Kevin to meet her, cried with her about lost loves, she helped plan my reception, hosted a bridal shower and generally showed me unconditional love. And, as her body eventually gave way to a 7 year long battle with cancer, she taught me about hope and endurance. Sheila Moore, you were more a mother to me than anyone on this planet and I can't wait to hold you again!

While my own husband was dying of cancer, God sent me another mother to help me through the next phase of my life. She was there to include me in her family, a listening ear whenever I needed to vent, gave me a spiritual perspective, showed me what blessings were in store for someone who loved all...She watched my kids so I could go out. I want to be like her when I grow up. Even now, her thoughtful advice is amazingly, just what I need to hear. God speaks to me through her. Thank you Julia Carter.

Now with a busy life filled with 5 kids to mother, I have realized how very lucky I am that I got more than one mother in my life. They all have shaped me into the woman I am today. All the things I missed out on, I will be extra vigilant about giving to my own children.

So next time I feel cheated because I can't just call up my mother and tell her about my day or get advise on some matter, I can look back on this post and remember to be grateful for what I have been given and what I will be able to give.

I love being a mother more than anything else....

Summer Summed Up

Summa Summa Time...as Will Smith might say. It's been a busy few weeks for the Laing family. August has been packed full of fun things to do. The girls participated in a week long Activity Days Boot Camp organized by our 3 wards in Sherwood. Christian started Football, complete with 2 hour practices 5 days a week. Anderson did a Kindergarten Camp put on by the school and soccer so Evan and I had some great alone time. Canned refrigerator pickles, picked raspberries, froze a ton of green beans from our garden. Picked peaches and attempted to can them, only to realize that this particular variety was not worth the effort. Then we had a Carter reunion that lasted all weekend. And then a Westwood picnic. And finally, the kids and I met up with Patrick in La Grande, and we went on vacation. Really, I can't remember the last time we went on vacation...maybe two years ago when we traveled down to Crater Lake and up through the southern Oregon coast. So in our quest for cheap and fun (and a place that cell phones could not reach) we decided upon Yellowstone. Can you get more American than Yellowstone? I don't think so and maybe that is why President Obama decided to take his family up there at the same time we did. Little did we know that it was going to be 28 degrees at night and snowing and hailing during the day. Needless to say, we only spent 2 nights in that tent and decided that it was a good time to visit Patrick's Aunt and Uncle in Cody. We crashed their family reunion but they made room for us on the living room floor. That floor was like heaven compared to the freezing tent the night before! We made our way through the Park and onto Jackson Hole Wyoming where were going to stay but it was just too expensive and opted for a night in Lava Hot Springs Idaho instead. Didn't get any pictures of that, but so relaxing and so nice to sleep in a bed. Then on to Heber, Utah for the Laing Family Reunion held at the Heber Valley campground. All I can say, is the girls that go to camp there have it pretty darn easy. We went on the Zip Line Challenge Course, ate copious amounts of good food and canoed. Patrick went fishing with Christian 3 times during our vacation and on the last day, when visiting friends in Daybreak, they both caught some bass and trout. Now we are back to reality...and it will get pretty insane before it gets any less busy around here....

Mayfield Lake

As a young child, my fondest memories were of my Mother's family reunions. Most everyone on her side of the family knows how to party like it's 1999! My memories include elaborate dance numbers done at talent shows, Uncle's cross dressing while dancing to the latest jig, complicated practical jokes, boat rides, amazing themed meals, and card games until the we hours of the morning. Much of it's glory has since fizzled with the passing of the head's of household. We that are still die hard reunion planners, manage to bring some of the former glory into our annual camping trip.
Our meal this year was Saturday breakfast. Cooking for 40 people doesn't seem like many to me anymore. What does that say about me?! Anyway, I am starting to take over the reigns if you will for my side of the family. We attempted a french cafe complete with 4 little waiters in black pants, white shirts and long white aprons. They took every one's orders for french toast. I was going to whip up 80 crepe wrappers and 40 individual quiches in my spare time...hehe...but with the weather well over 105 the whole week and not having air conditioning, I was not about to attempt that one. So instead of Quiche and Crepes, we had French Toast with fresh Strawberry or Blueberry sauce with a sprinkling of powdered sugar and whipped cream. We kicked up the scrambled eggs a notch with some bacon bits and cheese and a slice of ham on the side with a croissant. Evidently french people enjoy a meager breakfast of a pastry with coffee, but of course I was trying to restore our former glory of years past. My mind is already working on ideas for next year. And if I have anything to say about it, we will have a talent show/ skit show too. Here's to many more years of good times with great people!

This Week

I've been sick. Patrick is sick. Evan is sick. You think that would afford me more opportunity to blog, but no. My camera's battery needs charging. Saturday was great fun. We went to a Tri-Ward breakfast in the morning which was enjoyable. We can't miss any activities, or else we wont see the adults in our ward. Then we came home, I made Vanilla Cupcakes with BlueBerry filling and fresh Strawberry Buttercream Frosting for our next party. We live next to some amazingly wealthy people who spend months in Thailand. They have art shipped over...how would that be? The kids had fun swimming and I chatted with fellow neighbors about the wonders of Sherwood. The kids won fireworks from the HulaHoop contest and Brighten is a pro Limbo girl. Next, back home to throw together a quick salad and then off to BBQ with friends and a quick jaunt to Cook Park for a Fireworks show. It was great to meet so many new people.
Sunday, we had friends over to eat the huge amount of leftovers we had. The kids had a great time, and I found a kindred spirit. I see political discussions in my future. Monday, we hung around the house and the kids put on a play. My kids are so creative. I just wish they'd learn how to pick up the aftermath. Tuesday, we ran errands, bought crafts, and spent the day with Aunt Jennifer and the cousins. I made dinner and Jenn and I made Raspberry Freezer Jam. She marveled. I showed her it really wasn't that hard...and it turned out yummy. It was a small price to pay to hold that new little baby for hours. Babies rock when you just didn't give birth to them. I'd be open to having more if the didn't come out of me!! (I did just say that, even though I want to strangle the 5 I have...better wait till I am a grandma...I'm gonna rock as a grandma!)
Wednesday, Park day was rained out. I bought a pattern instead and the kids had a spa day. Nails got painted. Thursday, I think I might have spent the whole day in bed...Momma was sick, and still am. Been praying for a friend whose son ran away. He was found after 3 days. Relief! Friday was a blur...I weeded the garden till it got dark, but besides that, I don't think anything productive got done, well I did clean the bathroom and organize the art closet. Saturday, we cleaned. We grocery shopped. We took the kids to a drive in and saw UP. And today we skipped out on church because Patrick and I are both hacking and don't want a bunch of 18-20 month olds to get sick. Hope next week is more productive and I my voice returns to normal.

Family Reunion on Long Beach Washington

A fun time was had by all this last week at Long Beach Washington.
All of Patrick's family was in attendance.
They all made a grueling 14 hour drive to Oregon (some with babies!) to have a wonderful time on our farm. Patrick put them to work building a fence around our garden. The guys had a great time together getting something accomplished on the "farm".
During our week long get together, we ate like kings,


the kids played,

and the parents relaxed.

It was great. During our stay on the beach the llamas escaped yet again to our neighbors down the road. This time our landlord came and got them and put them in her parents pasture. No more llamas...Yeah!!! Now I have to figure out what to put in our pasture. I really want a cow!

Waterfall Family Photos

Insanity is a completely plausible defense that allows any mother to not be held accountable for anything criminal. I completely feel insane and do really stupid things because I am tuckered out half the time. My son Anderson talks with his “outside” voice 24/7 and tonight I resorted to telling him that his punishment would be to sleep outside if he used his outside voice…criminal…technically yes…logically I think it would leave a lasting impression don’t you think? One howl from the coyotes that frequent our land would render him speechless for at least a few days.
Went on a drive through the country today. This seems to be my favorite pastime this year. Red barn, orchard, cow, horse, red barn, quaint old farmhouse, junk heap, million dollar view, million dollar home, red barn…. Somehow this is cathartic for me. I basked in the sun through the windshield. Evan slept. Listened to mood music, and felt incredibly heavy hearted. I am weary. If I look at one more house I will scream! Knowing what lies around every bend from Wilsonville to North Plains, you think that I could find something that just screams,”This is your house!! Buy ME!” But alas it is not meant to be that easy. I have amassed thousands, yes that is right, thousands of pictures of the insides of homes from Clackamas and Washington counties. If any of you fret at night that the inside of your home is the most catawampus in the block, you are dead wrong. I have seen the most beautiful outside shells of homes and just fallen in love only to be accosted by horrible floral wallpaper and hideous kitchens. Oak is OUT! So is Maple! People, please for the love of sight, let me come and help you out next time you try and conquer a “remodel” I will count it as service and not charge you a dime, because buying the clearance sheets at Target for living room curtains and then retrofitting the entertainment unit at Kmart into kitchen cabinets is not remodeling. Inexpensive does not have to mean cheap. Please, for humanities sack, call before you decide to paint your ceiling red or put pergo up your tub surround. I’m totally serious.
Our house is on the market again. I can’t help but think this is deja’vu. In a little under a year you think that we could have accomplished more than blowing a load of dough out our proverbial butts! Butt alas; we are here again, putting the house in Utah on the market, and trying to find a home in Oregon, still waiting for the Big Paycheck from the investor. Spent, is the only word I can think to describe how I feel. Depleted, maybe another close second. On the bright side, I did not have to endure another torturous winter in Utah. This year was particularly gruesome as far as frozen temps and snowfall go. When I saw the picture the real estate agent took of our house today, I almost tossed my cookies. It is like Portland is the Garden of Eden with green things growing out of every possible crack and Utah is like the lone and dreary world where everything is a shade of beige and brown. Maybe God in his infinite wisdom had this extended “hotel” stay in the plan so I wouldn’t be committed to a psychiatric facility this winter. I don’t know how I did it for 5 years…oh that is right, I was pregnant!
Speaking of cracks and stuff sprouting forth thereof, I am still in shock the trees in this valley have ferns growing out of their branches, I mean who knew? It reminds me of my five little kids grabbing on to me when we go anywhere. Picture this frazzled plump women with two little children grabbing onto back pockets of her pants, purse dangling from hand, loaded with a 35 lb toddler holding a blanket and sucking his thumb. Very large Dr. Pepper in the other hand with the two oldest children holding the little kids hands. I look like a multitasking octopus that needs a nap!

So here’s the scoop, I am writing this because I am so sick of looking at “virtual tours” of crappy homes that I could scream and I have occasionally snooped at all of the cute blogs that everyone seems to find the free time to create, so I must blog.
Girlfriends beware I am honest to a fault. If you take offense, don’t read it anymore. If you laugh, my job is done. If you feel like you’ve been there, done that, then I hope for both our sakes it gets better.
May all your cracks eventually be filled with “green stuff” (and if you don’t get the whole garden metaphor then please allow me to expand…see all living things need decaying matter to grow in aka trials…and eventually we have enough crap in our cracks that pretty things start growing in them!)