I Worship at the Feet of Caroline Ingalls

I was enjoying my quiet house at 10:45 all by myself. My DH was busy praying at the temple about some big changes in our life and I was taking a very hot bath. When what do I hear? But the mad squawking of chickens trying to jump the coop. I immediately bound out of the tub, narrowly escaping a swift landing on the tailbone due to the wet floor and race over to the window. Frantically, I grab the first thing that cannot break and throw it in the general direction of the noise. No, it wasn't to shut those hens up, but to scare the SKUNK! Yes, we have had a visitor in our backyard for a couple of weeks now. Evidently he likes free range eggs just as much as me. I'll give him that, he has good taste. But I am sure my neighbors don't like having chickens wandering around in their front yards...I mean it is suburbia after all.
So I was pissed. That dang skunk wasn't going to keep doing this. And being the stubborn woman that I am, grabbed a red silky robe and ran down the stairs to finally take care of that skunk once and for all. No one was messin with my hens!
I frantically searched for a flashlight and turned on the porch light. I grabbed the hoe that just so happened to be teetering right next to the sliding glass door. Only when I stepped out, did I realize that I was still dripping wet and not fully clothed, but I was on a mission.
The hoe in hand and flashlight staring down that skunk I made my move...called him like a hide and seek game...come out, come out where ever you are little stupid skunk! Oh yeah, I knew I could be sprayed at any minute but I had a firm resolve. The only thing going through my mind was "I wonder how Caroline Ingalls would deal with this?" After searching high and low for the skunk and finding 2 errant chickens perched on the fence, I decided that Mr. Skunk was gone and it was more important to save myself the embarrassment of trying to chase chickens down the road. I shook Christian awake and he unconsciously made it outside to help me get the birds. Surprisingly easy actually to catch birds in the middle of the night. So now the hens were back in their house. The porch light was on and then I realized that I probably had just given my neighbors a show....still in the first thing I grabbed, a red silk robe...NICE! So not a Caroline Ingalls thing to do!

Oh Caroline, can I meld the farm life and the city life together much longer? It was easy when the coyotes ate all the skunks and the big dog scared off the little critters. Now I still get dead mice on my doorstep from my cats and I enjoy the fresh eggs, but I can't just fly outside half naked to chase down a varmint in the middle of the night. Dang it! Oh Caroline what would you do?

I Have Not Died

On average, I have 33 assignments a week. Yes, you read that right. So needless to say I am one busy lady! My blog is completely neglected. My house on the other hand is running swimmingly. You may ask, how the heck is that possible? Well I happen to be taking an organizational communications class and I am implementing everything I learn to my household. If ever you wanted a class on how to be a homemaker, just take this class. We have discussed everything from motivational theories to systems metaphors (the latter is more like math and makes my brain hurt but it really works). So my home is staying clean. I am no longer bombarded by stray dishes, errant shoes, toys on the stairs, and a filthy kitchen. The kids do it. They police themselves and I wont go into details until I know for sure it's sticking but basically, my job is to cook dinner everynight, do the grocery shopping, do the laundry on Thursday and vacuum. Pretty sweet deal for everyone. (Yes, I have someone come in and clean my bathrooms and kitchen 2 times a month because I really need them CLEAN) I'm still the mommy in addition to my household chores, but I don't do dishes, clean up after anyone and the house is running like a well oiled machine. Whatever grade I get in my class pales in comparison to the fringe benefits of a household running at an efficient level. Now about that abnormal psych class....Hah!

Mommy Rhapsody (Mother's Day Opening 2010)

Ecstasy

Daydreaming, reading Ethan Frome and Hugh Nibley collected works on the Old Testament, burying my feet in the sand, listening to music while napping on the sand, eating seafood, watching my kids enjoy themselves...that is ecstasy.

Letting Go

I finally did it.....  I've had it since my senior year and I keep hanging on to it like a security blanket.  Oh sure, there have been others, but nothing like this one.  I keep going back to this one.  It is just so comfortable and it knows me.  It makes my life so much easier.  But it was time to move on no matter how hard it would be to let go.  It was missing things I needed in order to grow.  But I loved it's imperfections.  They kinda grew on me.  At it was just so darn colorful and easy to understand.

Piqued your curiosity yet?

Well I am speaking of my first set of real scriptures.  You know the pair: the one you had your name engraved on.  The one that gave you answers to all your questions in your late teens and twenties.  Yes, I have had a relationship with my triple combination for almost 20 years.  It's been through Hell with me, literally and figuratively.  Many a tear stained page lies within it's binding.  Some were tears of joy, and others, tears of sorrow.  But it's time to let it go.  See, my scriptures were one of the last sets of white scriptures to leave Deseret Book.  And they are really dirty now.  In fact, whenever I go to the temple, I look up at the officiator and covet those scriptures he has in his hands.  Oh how I want a white pair!  But since that is almost impossible to procure, I settled on a dark green pair.  Yes, I went for separate books.  I know, way to be old school, but I like it better.  Which brings me to my next point...why don't they make scriptures waterproof?  See, my Bible bit the big one after being "baptized" in the bathtub one dreary night.  Tried as I might, those feather thin pages just dried themselves together like glue.  So I have been hangin on with a spare set of either Patrick's or Kevins and mine.  See, that just doesn't fly at our house when Patrick happens upon the Carter set of scriptures.  Panties get all wadded up and the spirit just flies out the window.  So I have been covertly "stealing" a bible from one kid or another.

Now, I am going to have to let my triple go!  It met it's match with a certain dead lab that just so happened, met his death from a cougar last year....see, God does punish those that take the Word of God lightly!  But seriously, it is tattered and torn and most of Alma is unreadable( really, who needs to read about all those wars anyway?).  It's not the chewed on leather or the torn pages that matter though, it's the footnotes about an investigator on my mission, or an answer to prayer.  It's like a sacred heirloom, and I'm having a hard time letting go.
What will happen if I ever get to go back to Gospel Doctrine and I can't find that perfect scripture I remember?  It's marked with the yellow and blue on the left hand side right in the middle...that's how I remember my scriptures.

So I am retiring the worn white combo and have decided to move on.  After all, it's time to fill in all those margins with things other than missionary scriptures right?  Green will be just as good...it's my favorite color...and who knows, I bet I can find some cool pencils to color in all the white with....sigh...

People Actually Read This....

Isn't it amazing?!!!  Can't tell you how many people have outed themselves to me personally that read my blog but never comment in the past few months.  Which leads me to wonder, how many people out there read my blog, never comment, and never tell me about it?  It's like the black widow theory that was circulating in California at the time I lived there.  If you see one black widow, there are 5 more lurking in the unseen cracks around your house.  So the 4 I saw meant I had 20 hanging out around my house!  Gross and creepy when it comes to deadly spiders, but not so bad when it comes to people who might actually find me funny and enjoy my writing.  In any case, thanks.  If you think I suck, thanks for not commenting about my lack of correct english usage (if you only knew that I banned my husband from reading my blog because he feels the need to edit my work...it's his addiction to edit).  And if you enjoy what you read, then my job is done.  I just want to share what's in my head, however crazy and disjointed it sometimes is.  It's who I am.

So for all of my adoring fans, I will not be selling my underwear on the internet or sending out glossy head shots signed in sharpie marker, but rather, if you have never left a comment, out yourself and I will randomly pick one of you to receive a $10 gift card to Red Robin,Target, or Sweetest Thing (you choose) so you can spend some quality time off of your computer!  :)))))))