...A Window Opens

If you would like to start my new journey with me, click here.  I'm heading in a new direction in life and in the cyber world.

Last...But Not Least

I started crying a couple of blocks before I could see the house.
This was the last chapter of a long book.
I didn't know when it would end, until the very last page.

Scrubbed all signs of life from the house.
No one lived here.
It sits empty now.

I never got that front porch.
No picket fence either.
Are my dreams just that...dreams?

I separated the good into two piles.
And the garbage left over, I hauled away, with my own two hands.
Maybe that is why it hurt so bad.

It's hard to let go, no matter if the house is burning to the ground.
No one ever starts out to fail.
My fairytale has no happily ever after.

I thought I was the ugly step sister.
Turns out, I just need to read more non fiction.
It's time to get real.

Thanks for taking this journey with me the past few years.  I am shutting this blog down.  It no longer makes sense to keep sharing a journey that has ended.  I am going in a different direction, a much more honest and candid one.  Thanks for listening and sitting a spell on my Front Porch.

  When one door closes.....

Top Ten Things I Love About Summer

1.  I don't have to wash 42 pairs of socks each week.  Do you know what a challenge that is?  Imagine the amount of time I save not having to match them alone!  I have a great love affair with flip flops and sandals.  In fact, I love being barefoot.  I run barefoot on the treadmill and only put shoes on if I have to go somewhere. Now if I can only get my boys to wear Birkenstocks to church.

2.  Great Movies!  Regal Cinemas used to have movies for free during the summer.  Unfortunately they aren't free anymore but for a buck, you can't beat an air conditioned theater full of other kids on a hot day.  I haven't had an air conditioned home in years and on those super hot days, this is the perfect beginning for a scorcher day. You can go here to find a theater in your area and what they are playing.

3. Kids Bowl Free is a great idea for your kids that claim they are "bored".  Normally, I would give my children oodles of chores when they feign boredom, but during the summer, chores are usually done and I just can't justify keeping my kids cooped up all day.  I'd go insane if I didn't get out of the house once in a while and this is perfect for those not so great weather days.  Go here to sign up.  Of course it's not really free because you still have to pay for shoe rental if you don't happen to have a set of stylin bowling shoes in your collection.  Also, if you want to play, you can buy a pass.  I plan on bringing a book.

4. Water features are a plenty around here.  The city park has a fountain, there are parks close with water features for kids.  Then we always have the good old standby, the Willamette river or the local lake swimming hole.  I am not a huge fan of water, but my kids love it.  And in our town, they offer swimming lessons for $10 a session.  You really can't beat that!

5. Going to the beach is great fun!  I am so grateful that we live close.  I grew up going to the beach at least 10 times a year.  Nothing like an ocean breeze to cool you down when it's unbearable in the summer.  Also, who doesn't love to build a sand castle and jumping waves?  Just bring a sweatshirt because the coast can be at least 30 degrees colder if it's over 100 in Portland.

6. Culdesac playing for hours.  My kids are master game makers.  Take one large package of sidewalk chalk, add some nibble hands, and a handful of balls and rocks, and that equals one great obstacle course.  I get bike courses, four square, hopscotch, red rover games, bike ramps, and an occasional foot race.   I'm a firm believer in making sure my kids get lots of time to just be kids.  I totally get my parents generation that "locked" their kids outside to play during the day....although I don't lock them out, I do lock them out of anything electronic if that big orb in the sky is shining.

7. Berry picking and canning galore.  Food is a family affair in my home. Not only do we all love food in our home, but everyone can pitch in when it comes to cooking.  3 of the five of my children are competent enough to cook dinner for everyone.  I've taken that one step further and had my kids help me grow food in our garden and also gather food to cook.  Some of our fondest memories are picking strawberries and blueberries as a family.  We also pick peaches and pears too.  Then we come home and can everything.  No person is left out.  Whether it's cutting strawberries or cleaning jars, we all pitch in.

8. Sleeping-in rocks!  I love sleep.  But I have a very hard time getting in any shut eye until after midnight.  So naturally, that means I don't wake up until after 7:30.  The sun tries to rouse me earlier but it only lasts for a few minutes before I fall back into my peaceful slumber.  Now that I have a 13 and 12 year old, sleep is essential in my house.  Teenagers need more sleep than usual.  They are cranky if you wake them before they really want to get up.  Trust me.  Do Not Wake The Teenagers!  I also have some night owl children so if I don't have to get up at the Butt Crack O Dawn, everyone is happier!

9. Camping is cooler than Disneyland.  We are a strange breed that will actually think living off of the land, getting dirty and stinky is actually a vacation.  I'm not much for the whole spa and sitting by the beach kind of girl when it comes to relaxing.  Stick me in the forest and I am good to go.  I would rather have a trailer than a tent just for the bed at night, but it will do for now.  My kids love it too.  We can read, eat great food, play in the dirt or water, and usually have grand times with friends and family.  Nature is so beautiful that Disneyland and water slides just don't do it for me anymore.

10. Eating outside is awesome!  I quite enjoy a grill.  If something allows me to not do dishes then I am all for it!  I am more likely to justify eating off of paper plates if the food has been prepared on a grate as opposed to an oven.  It's just something I tell myself to make me feel better about all those helpless trees I am cutting down due to my copious use of paper plates, cups, and bowls.  Don't Judge!  I may be a democrat but I draw the line at being environmentally conscious when it comes to dishware.  I HATE doing the dishes. 

Hope you all have a great summer!!  I know I will....

Throwing Convention Out The Window!

Did you ever just want to just stick your little finger to the world, to the world, to the world???  (It's a song).  Well I have probably changed my hairstyle more than anyone I know...except my cousin who is a hairdresser.  That isn't fair though...she has products and people at her disposal.  I must patiently wait for an appointment, and fork over the cash to try something new. 

It all started my senior year, when I got my braces off right before school.  Sun In was popular and since I had a new set of perfect teeth, I thought I would go blonde as well.  Why not?  Well that was not the smartest choice I have made in the realm of haircare...but I was young and stupid and everyone was doing it right?  It turned orange.  Brassy, crazy, Orange!  I lived with it and then got a perm ontop of it!  The late 80's and early 90's were just bad hair years all across the board.  It was long and blonde my Freshman year of college, short and blonde or short and bright red my Sophmore year and I even tried a Idaho perm because when in Idaho, do as the Idahoan's do....(what a mistake that was!!!) I kept the short and sassy look until I was 21 and then I began to grow it out.  By the time I left to serve a mission for my church, I had blonde hair and it was drugstore bottle blonde...not a far stretch from Sun In.  Blech!  Anyway, I tried like the dickens to get the poor Utah hairdressers to have pity on my Oregon Ashy hair.  It was bright blonde, and I had a perm for most of mission.  Shoulder length.  Then I came home and cut it...bobbed it...boy problems will do that to you right?  It grew out enough by the time that I got married and then when my first baby was born, I died it dark, dark, red.  It was past my shoulders.  I kept growing it until my second baby was born 14 months later and by this time is was just plain old brown.  That is when my baby making caught up with me and my hair looked hideous.  So I cut it.  It was pretty short.  Kevin and I moved to Sacramento and I began the journey into "Weave".  I got it short, layered and blonde...because I was in California and my husband was dying of cancer....I needed something to make me happy when I looked in the mirror.  I kept that do for a while and after his death and Brightens birth, I pretty much kept it in a long blonde bob.  Then I turned 28 and it was super short and spiky.  It was my, don't mess with me, I am a single mother of 3 babies!!  And then I got remarried and by that time the blonde had gotten longer into a bob again.  Then it went from bob, to shoulder length brown, to short and highlighted and layered, to super short, then I grew it out again with a little bit of highlights until it was past the shoulders. 
When we moved to Oregon, I reverted to my short style once again.  It was still highlighted.  And then it was bright blonde.  Then it began to grow out.  I got it highlighted often, from a bob, to shoulder length, and now past my shoulders.  Just recently, it was as close to my natural color as I have ever seen it...like my Junior year in highschool ashy dirty blonde.  It wasn't horrible, and I don't think I looked bad, but I definitely had to dress it up just to make it look interesting at all....(this is still highlighted a little as you can see)

Well that brings us to today.  I'm back in college now.  Life has been a roller coaster and I keep getting told that I am intimidating.  I guess I just have a lot going on and it shows in my face right?  But it looks dowdy, and conservative, definitely not who I really am....so I decided to make yet another hair change....one that shows that I am not conservative, that I really am an extrovert, that I don't follow conventional wisdom, and that I don't mind being different.  Why.....Why not?????

 

I wake up in the morning and this is how I feel!

 

My future is bright and shiny...and I should have a smile on my face...

 

It says, I like to be kind of weird and I am ok with that...

 

And if you don't like it????  Well who cares!!!!!!

Spring Rearrangment

 

This is my latest project.  I found this little nightstand at a garage sale for $5.  It was sponge painted blue...scary!  Besides the horrific paint treatment, the knob was meant for a much smaller drawer.  That would be a Home Depot purchase worth $3.  Next, off to the garage I went to scour my leftover paint collection for something appropriate.  After sanding and applying 3 liberal coats of Whip Devine paint to cover the spongy blue 80's paint job, all that was left to attach is a cute little glass knob.

Now my master bedroom is pale blue, mustard yellow, and cream.  No more red lamp shades, but serene and peaceful.  And this little addition was the only new piece with a grand total of $8! 

My Baby

This little munchkin will be 5 in less than a week.  Today he "graduated" from preschool and I finally accepted that my baby isn't a baby anymore.  He is 50lbs.  It's hard to carry him in from the car if he falls asleep. Some things that I never want to forget about this kid:
1. He hides in a corner when someone hurts his feelings or gets in trouble.  And he cries big huge tears.  He is the kind of kid that if you raise your voice to him, he bawls.  He is sensitive.  He is very easy to discipline that way.
2. He loves animals.  It doesn't matter if its stuffed, plastic, or a breathing animal, he wants to love it.  He is the only child of mine that sleeps with critters in his bed.  I bought him a PillowPet a month ago and he loves it. 
3. He loves his Mama.  Always quick to give me a hug or kiss, he is very affectionate with me.  And all of his 50lbs likes to snuggle up on my lap at church.  I love it.  Who can resist those baby blues staring straight into you?!
4. He hugs everyone.  I mean everyone.  If he doesn't know you, he'll hug you.  If you are standing, he will love on you if you stop moving long enough for him to wrap his fat little arms around your knees.  Just the other day while we were shopping, he came up to me and whispered that there was some people he wanted me to meet.  He crept up behind these two teenagers that were shopping.  He exclaimed, "Mom, these ladies.  You need to meet these ladies."  Well I wasn't about to walk up to perfect strangers and introduce myself.  But later, by the changing rooms, one of the girls was standing there and Evan couldn't resist going up to her and giving her a great big hug.  That girl lit up like a Christmas tree.  I mean who wouldn't?  Look at that face!  I told her that he loves to give hugs to random people and I was sorry.  She thought it was so cute.  This kid has a gift, pure and simple.  He knows what people need and is more than willing to give it to them in a form of physical affection.  It melts my heart that I am so blessed to be his mother. 
5. He is a rocker.  He loves ACDC, VanHalen, Queen, etc.  He is the ultimate headbanger and is constantly jammin out in the car when his tunes come on.  He's quite the fan of The Brew station.  He loves it loud and does the air guitar almost as good as the air drums.  He loves his hair long, so I see a hair band in his future.
6. His speech is precious.  He is very much like his mom in the fact that he didn't really speak until he was three.  He can't really pronounce his s, y, f, th.  And he uses phrases like "cuz about" or "guess what" about 300 times a day.  It's adorable.  His cheeks bounce when he talks still.  You just want to squeeze them!
7. He is the only one of my kids that has my lips.  Those suckers are big!  I was looking at pics of myself as a kid and although I looked the most like Anderson as far as mannerisms and my gawky self, Evan and I have those big lips.  I thank my father for those and it is not mere coincidence that his name sake looks so much like him.
8. Evan could be a vegetarian.  His favorite foods are raw broccoli, spinach, and carrots.  He dislikes normal kid food in favor of vegetables and fruits.  He is forever asking if something is "wheat free"  and saying "we is wheat free."  He doesn't like cheese or chicken nuggets but will do anything for a piece of dark chocolate. 
9. He's a dancer.  Whenever there is music on, he will dance.  He loves it.  Wonder where he got that from? ;)
10. Evan loves Jesus.  Jesus is very real to him.  He talks to him all the time.  He sings songs about him.  He begs to say the prayer everyday.  He gets upset that it's not his turn to pray every single time.  This kid is so close to the spirit and can't wait to be kind and compassionate to others.  He loves to praise with song as well.  He tells others to be more like Jesus.  It warms my heart that I get to raise this child.
 So I cried big tears today knowing that my baby is growing up.  He doesn't suck his thumb anymore.  He doesn't drag his blanket around or want to sleep in my bed.  He still wants me to suck out his bad dreams with kisses on his forehead, but he's definitely becoming more independent.  He can buckle his seat belt now and can put on most of his clothes by himself.  Even today, he spilled chocolate milk  in the fridge and without telling me, cleaned it up all by himself.  The reason he spilled it, is he was putting away the yogurt that I had bought at Costco.  He was just trying to be helpful and this is why I love him.  He does little things like this all the time.  He just knows how to give so freely without any thought of himself.  I am so very blessed that Evan is my son.

My First Love

When I was a girl, I fell in love.  It was purely innocent and not a physical love, but a love nonetheless.  This man that I was head over heels for had curly brown hair.  He cried at the drop of a hat.  He loved animals.  He was musical.  He adored his family.  He could fix anything.  He danced.  He had the best smile in the whole world.  He pulled off suspenders like a natural and always left a few buttons open at the top of his shirt to appear just a bit more manly.  He was an entrepreneur.  He tucked his kids into bed.  When the going got rough, he pulled up his bootstraps and sacrificed the world for his family.  He laughed contagiously.  He was generous.  He stood up for his family and for others.  He loved everyone.  He brought home the strays.  His best friend was a drunk, but he loved him nonetheless.  He adopted kids and treated them as his own.  He was the "richest man in Walnut Grove."

Ok, so that last sentence gave him away, but what do you expect?  Didn't everyone love Michael Landon?  Didn't everyone want him as their Pa?  I am currently reading a book, The Wilder Life, by Wendy McClure.  It is bringing up all kinds of memories about my first love.  So much so, I spent the better part of Sunday watching clips on Youtube of Little House.  So far, it's a great read and I am kicking myself for not coming up with this idea for a book in the first place!  I mean, who doesn't love Laura Ingalls Wilder?!?

And now this book has got me thinking, how much of my own dreams are wrapped up in the idealism that Laura created for me?  I confess, that I have hand stitched clothes, loved calico dresses, and I even have a pair of boots that Laura could have worn over a century ago.  My very favorite room was decorated Laura style with a calico print wallpaper in a slanted attic style room.  And when I tried out for Junior Rose Festival Princess when I was nine, they asked me what my favorite TV show was and I exclaimed, "Little House on the Prairie....because it's old!"  I think I meant old fashioned.  So maybe that is why a man with dirty hands turns me on, or a man who cries at the drop of a hat is like the sexiest thing in the world.  Pa has simply warped my sense of reality.  He's given me too much to hope for right?  Maybe that is why I love to grow my own food, and why I wore my hair in two long braids for the entirety of first and second grade.  I have internalized perfection...and it is somewhere on the banks of Plum Creek. 

Parenthood

Miss me much?  I'mmmm Baacckkk!!! 


Well I thought I'd end my hiatus on an interesting lesson that I have learned about parenting.  I am a risk taker.  Yep.  Me.  I never thought of myself as a risk taker because the last place I want to be is on the wrong side of right.

So with parenting, I've read the most up to date books, scoured Internet articles, watched my friends with a critical eye, and tried to figure out my own style.  Parenting is something I truly invest time and effort into.  I don't want to get it wrong.

So I figured that I was more of the strict kind of mother.  Not a helicopter parent or a Tiger Mom, but firm and loving. I definitely have a good grip on reality about what can harm my kids emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  But as the years have flown by, I realize that I am more of a risk taking kind of parent.  After careful thought and much reading, I decided to not immunize my kids.  Is it a risk?  You bet.  I let my kids wear whatever they want to school.  Is this a risk?  In a way.  My children play outside unsupervised on our street.  They explored the woods without me.  They walk to and from school without an adult.  I let them go to birthday parties without my supervision.  They bathe 2 times a week if I am lucky.  They eat dirt, use the stove and power tools without my watchful eye.  I've got 5, I figure.  I can afford to lose a few...J/K  Really!  Breathe people.  For crying out loud!!  I let them make choices.  I actually encourage it.

So when my daughter came into my room this morning to say goodbye before leaving for school, I cracked an eyelid and gave her a kiss (yep, she gets herself ready for school and makes her own lunch....gasp!)she asked for me to sign a paper that declared her electives for next year.  Now 8th grade is not a make or break year.  She is already on track to complete a high school level math class next year and she is getting straight A's.  But when I took a better look at this sheet, I was a little disappointed.  She wanted to be an office aide and do some other dorky(in my mind) electives.  "Really Madeline?  You really want to just take classes that are "fluffy"?  What about French?  What about Drama? " (which is what she is taking this year in preparation for next year or so I thought)  Patrick chimed in because he was almost walking out the door and was clearly more level headed than the lump still in bed that was me. "She should do whatever she wants." "Your right.  Madeline, whatever you choose is ok, but Office assistant?  Really?" I exclaimed.

When I awoke for real, just minutes after her departure, I began to ponder this little parenting snafu that had transpired.  Had she saved this tidbit of info at the precise time before needing to leave for school so I wouldn't be able to talk about it?  Or did she just procrastinate the day of her apparent freedom from actual classes that required a book?  All the while I am thinking in my head, "This is why we moved to Lake Oswego?  So she could take the easy classes?  NOT!" 

While driving around today, I pondered this little exchange and determined...it's 8th grade.  It doesn't count yet.  Let her make mistakes now and live with the consequences...it's not that important.  So I was determined to just forget about it...until she walked in from school.  "So dear, what were the electives you signed up for again?  I was kind of out of it this morning", I said sweetly.  "Actually mom, I thought about what you said, and decided to take French." I think I would have fainted right there if I was not already laying down ( watching a recent episode of Cupcake Wars). "Wait!  What did you say?  Madeline I said you could do whatever you want, so I don't want you to give up having 4 little electives just for French if that is really what you want." I said hurriedly.  All the time I was like, really?  She really listened to my fragmented babbling at 7 in the morning?  "Well a bunch of my friends are taking french too and we eat lunch together soooo.....oh and I am taking Choir again," She casually tried to stick that last one in on me.  See, Choir is great and all, but it's a 0 period class, meaning it's totally extra.  And she has been bemoaning the fact that it's not an auditioned placement so some of the kids suck pretty bad and it kills her music buzz in a hardcore way so I was a little shocked to say the least.  When she wanted to drop the class a couple of months ago, I told her no, that she had to stick it out until the end of the year.  I never even saw that last one coming. 

So yes, here I am, taking risks in parenting.  One small step at a time.  And occasionally, those risks reap rewards.  So what if it was positive peer pressure.  Who cares.  My daughter made decisions on her own and that is what is most important.  Now if I can get my 12 year old to brush his teeth without being threatened, I can die a happy woman!

Spring Break 2011

I have one more week of school, but I thought I better update my blog for my handful of loyal followers or else I might be hunted down and whipped with a wet noodle!



Fort day was a huge success with the whole Shrek series watched plus a large amount of preteen girly movies with Lizzie Maguire and the like. Yes, I let my children gorge on crack food...junior mints, rootbeer, squirt, doritos, bottlecaps, and reeses pieces.  And of course the fort was left up for a few days.

Then since garden day was rained out, we opted for Rock Band day.  My children quite enjoy this.  Especially Evan.  He's very posessive of the drums and if you try and help him, he will bite your head off...do not touch his sticks!

Of course the crowning glory of the week was going to the beach.  We went with our friends, the Roberts.  We love them and happened to have the best luck because it was sunny the entire time we were there!  I'll let the pics speak for themselves....

Debbie Downer Gets Her Nails Done

......and bright Pepto pink no less.   Hoping it helps!  2 1/2 weeks until school is out.  Counting the minutes....

My Earthquake

I was 11.  My parents decided to divorce.  I came home from Outdoor School to no home.  All of the contents of my short life were shoved in a duffle bag.  The next 4 months brought lots of time spent in a car, lots of fast food, and sleeping bags on the linoleum floor in the back room of my Grandfathers glass shop. I can't remember where we washed our clothes let alone, take a shower. I cannot begin to explain the loneliness that permeated my soul at that time.  I spent hours everyday all alone in the park just waiting for my mother to come "home".  I didn't have anywhere to go.  I didn't have the church.  I got tough.  I fought off would be muggers.  If I wasn't strong before, I was now.  That whole experience changed me. Wonder why I can move every year like its no big deal?  Because of this....  Wonder why I can make lemonade out of lemons?  It's because of this....  Wonder why I have such a fabulous imagination?  You got it!  How about being a rockin awesome cook?  Enough already....you try eating from Burger King and Plaid Pantry everyday and I guarantee you, you will long for a kitchen to cook in.  I grew up fast.  And am I a better person for it?  You bet.  Would I wish it on anyone....not on your life!

Why am I sharing this?  Well Japan's earthquake hit too close to home for me.  I could place myself in their shoes.  I can remember what it's like sleeping on a hard floor and not having a home.  When the Tsunami hit in Indonesia, I couldn't relate.  I have never lived in a hut, never walked barefoot in a tropical environment, and frankly, it's more third world.  Japan, is as close to home as it could possibly be.  We have almost the same weather, I live close to the coastal community, and not only does my father and stepmother have a house right on the beach, but so does my mother...  I would also hope that in the event that Oregon experienced a natural disaster of this magnitude, that we would be as gracious and orderly as these people in Japan.

It's still hard to see those little children huddled next to their mothers on the gym floor and all the elderly ladies wrapped up in blankets. Equally as moving is to see people who have nothing, offer to share what little they do have. It is during these times that backs are made stronger, that the real purpose of our lives is magnified, and that hope becomes something you can touch. And I can literally see that happening for these gracious people that have survived.  Because frankly, it's in the surviving that the true meaning of our lives is found.  We are warriors.  And I have not laid down my weapons yet....a lady gently kissed me yesterday at church and spoke of my victories....I have many.  But I am nowhere near finished.  I see many battles yet to be fought. But everyday I make a choice to fight, to continue, and to remember my scars and the blessings they have brought. 

Now I have to go and enjoy baking with my 5 little blessings and wipe away these tears....
 

Spring Break?

Not for me....I still have school.  I don't have any extra money...things are tight right now.  So what to do for spring break becomes a behemoth event instead of a mere mouse click away to Disneyland or where ever people go that have time and money.

This is what we are doing:

Monday: Cooking/Baking day.  I'm sure we will be eating brownies and cupcakes for days afterwards, thus lending itself to a great Spring Break right?

Tuesday: Friend day.  Everyone has playdates planned with friends on this day.  Mommy is spending time doing homework.

Wednesday: Fort making and Movie day.  Of course, this requires a little money for rentals, and it will be a huge mess, but in the end, it's fun and I am sure I'll be making copious amounts of carmel popcorn.

Thursday: Gardening day.  Yep.  Rain or shine we will be preparing our two gardening boxes, planting starts, and doing a little green house gardening with seeds.  My kids really like doing this and square foot gardening appeals to all my little engineers.  This costs a little but $30 worth of seeds for 2 years isn't too shabby.

Friday: Beach day, rain or shine.  This is just the cost of gas for us because my parents have a place in Long Beach that they let us use.  So we will be beating each other in games of PacMan at the arcade on the strip, or taking long walks on the shoreline.

Saturday:  Heading home, and cleaning up after our messy week at home. 

Somewhere between all this, I have to get my homework done.  It's only Friday and trust me, it's impossible to get anything done with all of them home!  I am so ready for school to get out this semester.  I already have a list of things that I want to do when April 8th finally rolls around! 

Any other ideas for free fun in rainy Oregon?

A Stranger

My daily routine is filled with car trips back and forth to the Twin T's as I like to call them.  Tigard and Tualatin are my town neighbors.  They contain all of my favorite shopping spots like Goodwill, Value Village, Whole Foods, Costco, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, and WinCo.  And, both of my daughters attend ballet and gymnastics in these towns.  I am going back and forth at least twice a day.  They all know me...I'm the crazy broad with the Christian Rock blaring so loud that even with the windows up, people stop and stare.  :)

But this post isn't about my shopping prowess, it's about a guy I see on a regular basis when I am in the car.  This man is always around, rain or shine, day or night.  He is a fixture in our town.  In fact, I am sure that many people know him on a first name basis.  I do not, but he has changed my life.  Everytime I see him, I slow down a little.  I forget about my breakneck pace.  See, this man has a mental disability.  More often than not, he is not riding his bike but sitting on the seat and pushing it along with his feet on the pavement like a preschooler that hasn't mastered the mechanics of the pedals yet.  Attached to the front of his bike, is a large red recycling box that holds his many treasures.  He is out in the rain without proper attire and can rarely be seen with not a reflector in sight.  Many people offer to get him a headlamp and a better coat.  He is wearing crocs and socks while it pours inches of the wet stuff.  And he is there every day. 

He is important.  He makes people think.  I cannot pass him without realizing how blessed I am that I have a car to drive, that my kids are healthy, and that I am of a sound mind.  But he is more than that to me.  Whenever I see him, I see him as a very important child of God.  He serves a great purpose.  He makes everyone stop and think.  We all have become accustom to watching out for him.  We go slower.  We look around corners.  We stop longer for him to pass.  No horns get honked.  Everyone becomes a little more polite. See, our town is one of affluence.  And I believe this man is here to keep us grounded.  I know he does this for me.

Which leads me to believe that everyone one this planet is of great importance.  This man has changed me without even knowing it. God knows it.  And God knows me.  I hope that I am just as valiant in my mission here as this simple man.  I could learn a little thing or two from him.  I'm sure he doesn't start his day thinking about who he is going to effect that day and if he is going to be at the right place at the right time.  He simply is.  I think too much.  I often find myself trying so hard to figure out what He wants me to do and who He would like me to help.  I get impatient when I can't see the direction something is going.  I wonder if I am doing it wrong or if I didn't do enough to help someone or talk to the right person.  The list of what if's is endless.  The whole problem, is I am trying to be the instrument and the player at the same time.  This man is the instrument.  God is his player.....  His music is beautiful, simple, and soul searching.  So to the stranger on the side of the road, thank you.  Your music is heavenly to me.

The Fruits of My Non Labor

I am in dire need for inspiration this past couple of weeks.  I am in a deep funk. And I have so much to do, that it is just too overwhelming to even think about it, let alone, actual do it.  If I come out of this week without suffering a nervous break down, it will be a miracle.

When I get so overcome,

I read this:

 I speech I read

I watch this:
dance routine


I look at this:

And I dream of this:

Happy March....may I make it through.

February Funk

I don't really enjoy February as a whole.  This one has been especially sucky since I have been sick the WHOLE month.  If it wasn't a cold, then it was "night of the living dead" hands from a celiac reaction or tonsillitis, or maybe it was mono.  Everyone at my house has been sick.  No one escaped unscathed, even our piano teacher got bit.  Anyway, it was not my month at all.  It's also midterms for me which is ok since I still have 2 A's and a B in Anat and Phys. But I have lost the desire to do my homework.  I did "drop" my religion class.  10 credits seems to be my max....well 9 is my max, but enough about the boo hoo.  I really need a break from school.  I really need a break from life for a while.  And then when I look back on all my February's of years past, I realize this is a trend.  When I was in Utah, if I didn't go to Vegas or St. George for Spring Break, I would have a nervous breakdown.  It's not as pronounced here in good old Portland, but I swear I have Seasonal Affective Disorder.  I just crash by February.  And March really isn't that different.  April, I start to get the spring in my step again and feel back to normal and then there is no stopping me until the beginning of January.  I must be a bear right?  Does anyone feel like hibernation would be beneficial to them?  Everyone always calls me Mama Bear anyway.  I'm thinking I could sleep for a long winter.  My kids are bouncing through the house at our unusual snow day at the end of the month.  I'm not depressed.  Just blah.  I could sleep all day.  I could curl up and drink chai and have a book connected to my hands at all times.  I have plenty of craft projects, homework, gardening that could keep me busy, but who cares?  I just want to veg...for 2 months. Evidently, I am not the only one! I guess human hibernation is pretty prevalent.  Now, I just need someone to talk to for 15 minutes a day and some full spectrum lightbulbs.  :)  oh....and some chocolate!

Pink

I grew up with boys and a mother that didn't really care about clothes or anything "girly".  How did I end up owning 15 pink shirts?  I wear earrings everyday.  I can't stop making flowers for my hair and I have a slight addiction to "bonnet movies".  I now own 2 pairs of pink shoes, a pink purse and after going to the mall last weekend, I now feel like my obsession is actually "in".  I couldn't go to a store without seeing pink.  I could wear pink everyday.  It's my color.  Can't wear red.  Pink.....it's me.  Afton....I am officially commissioning a dainty pale pink and spring green purse from you..... :)

Does anyone else HATE Valentine's Day?

 (Doesn't this look like Evan?)

Long ago, I used to be a boy loving single girl.  I'm sure none of you had crushes on guys right?  Never right?  Well when I was a wee lassy, I had my fair share of loves.  Although I wasn't completely dateless as a single person, I NEVER had a beau on Valentines.  NEVER.  NOT ONCE!!  Can you tell that I harbor some angst about the holiday?  I have vivid memories of asking that guy at Ricks out and Heart Attacking him....he said no.  Then there was the neighbor boy who I asked to prom...he said no.  Did I give a few cards to guys in my day...yep.  Did I get one in return....no.  Notice a pattern?!?

So you can imagine that I already have many Valentines Day's behind me filled with chocolate, sappy romantic movies, and large amounts of Jamoca Almond Fudge.  Patrick is quick to point out that I have several good memories of Valentines Day as a married woman and he is right about that, but really, when I think of Valentines Day, I cringe.  This year, I'm about to change my attitude....I have nixed the traditional dinner and movie with Patrick and decided to do something that focused on others. 

So All the Single Ladies in our area that I know, will be getting a Valentine Card and a box of Chocolates from our family....Ding Dong Ditch with the kids to all the widows and single girls without a boyfriend.  I wish I had super altruistic motives, but mainly, I am doing this for myself.  I need to get over the whole, boys hate me, thing.  I know I would have loved to be thought about on that awful holiday when I was not with a "lover".  My challenge to you is, if you spend plenty o time with your man, (we go on a date once a week, so it's not like Valentines is really really special) then why not take your kids out and make someones day.

"It's like a fairytale here!"

(This house is up the street from me...It looks like a fairytale doesn't it?  I half expect 7 little men to pop out the front every morning on my way to preschool!)
....Those are the words uttered by my friend upon driving through the forested suburbs of Portland.  I spent the better part of the week playing tour guide for a friend and her family.  They have been our friends for 8 years.  Now that we live in Lake Oswego, we never see them because they are living in Salt Lake City.  That is about to change.  In a month, my cooking partner in crime, will be moving to the great NW and her husband will be working with my husband.  She is truly a talented individual and I wanted to share her website.   Dusti is the baker extraordinaire.  I dream of opening a bakery with her someday.  She is also a great cook.  It's rare to find someone that is as passionate about something as you.  It is equally rare to have their husband get along with your husband, and even work together.  It is still more rare that 2 of my children are bestest friends with her 2 children.  Can you tell I am a little excited that she is moving here?  So no exciting blog this week.  Maybe I will get around to felting these great valentine decorations that I went to Goodwill and bought hideous pink sweaters for....maybe in a few days.... After I do all the laundry and homework and work off the 5 pounds I gained while our friends were here.  But you know....I wouldn't have it any other way.

Cross That Off My Bucket List

I just did something that I have NEVER EVER done before.  I mean NEVER!  Now most of my friends have easily accomplished this, but for me, it's like climbing Everest.  Really.  I am totally serious.  Some of you out there could probably do this when you were sick with pneumonia and have a couple kids strapped to you, but me, not so much.  For an overweight asthmatic who got out of PE for years, I just did the impossible.....I RAN for 30 minutes without stopping, without walking, without catching my breath, without getting a drink.  I know right?  Most of you can do this, but your not me and this is a pretty big deal.  The most I have done is 15 minutes at a time and it's usually downhill.  So I know it might not be much to you, but to me, it's like crossing an impossible threshold that I never thought I could cross.  It might have something to do with the fact that I have lost almost 40lbs this year (very slowly) or it could be that my lungs are no longer inflamed because I don't eat gluten anymore.  But I am just over the moon!!  There is nothing like accomplishing the impossible to get you revved up for bigger and better things.  I am not saying that I will ever run a marathon, because that just doesn't sound fun to me, but I could see a 5K in my future.  More importantly, it shows me that some things are not impossible....

Spending Time Together

My kids range in age from 4 to 13.  My husband is a white collar professional type.  I am a hippie, to smart for her own good type.  So what can we do together as a family that pleases everyone?  Well of course the only thing out there that all of us want to do is....

Watch American Idol!

Really.  Every single person in my family loves American Idol.  We have been avid fans since season 2.  Patrick and I have been to a Kelly Clarkson concert, a Clay Akin concert, and the American Idol concert from season 3 I believe (Fantasia was the winner that year).  We've winced our way through embarrassing Paula moments.  We've cried during especially touching homecoming scenes.  Our kids sing along with the top ten.  And I remember Ryan Seacrest  pre plastic surgery.  He should have left his eyes alone!  Speaking of plastic surgery...remember Kenny Rogers?  Bad plastic surgery!!  I think Steven Tyler might actually replace the crazy that was Paula and who can resist Jennifer Lopez?  Her voice is just so down to earth.  I love it that she is representing all of us that have a little extra junk in our trunk!  Randy...well he's never been my favorite, but he is a part of the Dog Pound.  I know its all a little cheesy, but people, it's a family show.  How many family shows are left?  I don't have to cover my children's eyes or ears during a song.  Well there was that one time where lady Gaga was on...I don't think there is another show on television that I can let my whole family watch that they actually like.  Patrick falls asleep at any show that has to do with home remodeling.  Most of the cop shows are too violent for me.  I can't let everyone watch Glee because some of my children are human sponges and some of those topics are way to mature to discuss with them yet.  What are we left with?  Reality game shows.  And while the kids might enjoy the human wipeout show, or instant millionaire whatever show, I would literally dig my eyes out with a dull spoon before being subjected to it.  So we watch American Idol.  

Remember Clay Akin?  Blake Lewis?  Jennifer Hudson? Adam Lambert?  Carrie Underwood?  Chris Daughtry...Droooool!!!, Chris Sligh, Lee DeyWyze, Crystal Bowersox, Bo Bice, Jordan Sparks, Taylor Hicks, (ok...David Archuleta, but I didn't get to watch a lot of that season so I can't say that he was memorable), Mandisa, did I miss anyone?

We all love music.  Many a day, I wake up to the piano being played, a song being sung, or the dishes being done to Journey or Styx from Patrick.  It's a part of who we are as a family.  So if you are wondering where we are as a family on Wednesday or Thursdays this year, we will be stuck to the couch until they announce the winner.