Parenthood

Miss me much?  I'mmmm Baacckkk!!! 


Well I thought I'd end my hiatus on an interesting lesson that I have learned about parenting.  I am a risk taker.  Yep.  Me.  I never thought of myself as a risk taker because the last place I want to be is on the wrong side of right.

So with parenting, I've read the most up to date books, scoured Internet articles, watched my friends with a critical eye, and tried to figure out my own style.  Parenting is something I truly invest time and effort into.  I don't want to get it wrong.

So I figured that I was more of the strict kind of mother.  Not a helicopter parent or a Tiger Mom, but firm and loving. I definitely have a good grip on reality about what can harm my kids emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  But as the years have flown by, I realize that I am more of a risk taking kind of parent.  After careful thought and much reading, I decided to not immunize my kids.  Is it a risk?  You bet.  I let my kids wear whatever they want to school.  Is this a risk?  In a way.  My children play outside unsupervised on our street.  They explored the woods without me.  They walk to and from school without an adult.  I let them go to birthday parties without my supervision.  They bathe 2 times a week if I am lucky.  They eat dirt, use the stove and power tools without my watchful eye.  I've got 5, I figure.  I can afford to lose a few...J/K  Really!  Breathe people.  For crying out loud!!  I let them make choices.  I actually encourage it.

So when my daughter came into my room this morning to say goodbye before leaving for school, I cracked an eyelid and gave her a kiss (yep, she gets herself ready for school and makes her own lunch....gasp!)she asked for me to sign a paper that declared her electives for next year.  Now 8th grade is not a make or break year.  She is already on track to complete a high school level math class next year and she is getting straight A's.  But when I took a better look at this sheet, I was a little disappointed.  She wanted to be an office aide and do some other dorky(in my mind) electives.  "Really Madeline?  You really want to just take classes that are "fluffy"?  What about French?  What about Drama? " (which is what she is taking this year in preparation for next year or so I thought)  Patrick chimed in because he was almost walking out the door and was clearly more level headed than the lump still in bed that was me. "She should do whatever she wants." "Your right.  Madeline, whatever you choose is ok, but Office assistant?  Really?" I exclaimed.

When I awoke for real, just minutes after her departure, I began to ponder this little parenting snafu that had transpired.  Had she saved this tidbit of info at the precise time before needing to leave for school so I wouldn't be able to talk about it?  Or did she just procrastinate the day of her apparent freedom from actual classes that required a book?  All the while I am thinking in my head, "This is why we moved to Lake Oswego?  So she could take the easy classes?  NOT!" 

While driving around today, I pondered this little exchange and determined...it's 8th grade.  It doesn't count yet.  Let her make mistakes now and live with the consequences...it's not that important.  So I was determined to just forget about it...until she walked in from school.  "So dear, what were the electives you signed up for again?  I was kind of out of it this morning", I said sweetly.  "Actually mom, I thought about what you said, and decided to take French." I think I would have fainted right there if I was not already laying down ( watching a recent episode of Cupcake Wars). "Wait!  What did you say?  Madeline I said you could do whatever you want, so I don't want you to give up having 4 little electives just for French if that is really what you want." I said hurriedly.  All the time I was like, really?  She really listened to my fragmented babbling at 7 in the morning?  "Well a bunch of my friends are taking french too and we eat lunch together soooo.....oh and I am taking Choir again," She casually tried to stick that last one in on me.  See, Choir is great and all, but it's a 0 period class, meaning it's totally extra.  And she has been bemoaning the fact that it's not an auditioned placement so some of the kids suck pretty bad and it kills her music buzz in a hardcore way so I was a little shocked to say the least.  When she wanted to drop the class a couple of months ago, I told her no, that she had to stick it out until the end of the year.  I never even saw that last one coming. 

So yes, here I am, taking risks in parenting.  One small step at a time.  And occasionally, those risks reap rewards.  So what if it was positive peer pressure.  Who cares.  My daughter made decisions on her own and that is what is most important.  Now if I can get my 12 year old to brush his teeth without being threatened, I can die a happy woman!

Spring Break 2011

I have one more week of school, but I thought I better update my blog for my handful of loyal followers or else I might be hunted down and whipped with a wet noodle!



Fort day was a huge success with the whole Shrek series watched plus a large amount of preteen girly movies with Lizzie Maguire and the like. Yes, I let my children gorge on crack food...junior mints, rootbeer, squirt, doritos, bottlecaps, and reeses pieces.  And of course the fort was left up for a few days.

Then since garden day was rained out, we opted for Rock Band day.  My children quite enjoy this.  Especially Evan.  He's very posessive of the drums and if you try and help him, he will bite your head off...do not touch his sticks!

Of course the crowning glory of the week was going to the beach.  We went with our friends, the Roberts.  We love them and happened to have the best luck because it was sunny the entire time we were there!  I'll let the pics speak for themselves....

Debbie Downer Gets Her Nails Done

......and bright Pepto pink no less.   Hoping it helps!  2 1/2 weeks until school is out.  Counting the minutes....

My Earthquake

I was 11.  My parents decided to divorce.  I came home from Outdoor School to no home.  All of the contents of my short life were shoved in a duffle bag.  The next 4 months brought lots of time spent in a car, lots of fast food, and sleeping bags on the linoleum floor in the back room of my Grandfathers glass shop. I can't remember where we washed our clothes let alone, take a shower. I cannot begin to explain the loneliness that permeated my soul at that time.  I spent hours everyday all alone in the park just waiting for my mother to come "home".  I didn't have anywhere to go.  I didn't have the church.  I got tough.  I fought off would be muggers.  If I wasn't strong before, I was now.  That whole experience changed me. Wonder why I can move every year like its no big deal?  Because of this....  Wonder why I can make lemonade out of lemons?  It's because of this....  Wonder why I have such a fabulous imagination?  You got it!  How about being a rockin awesome cook?  Enough already....you try eating from Burger King and Plaid Pantry everyday and I guarantee you, you will long for a kitchen to cook in.  I grew up fast.  And am I a better person for it?  You bet.  Would I wish it on anyone....not on your life!

Why am I sharing this?  Well Japan's earthquake hit too close to home for me.  I could place myself in their shoes.  I can remember what it's like sleeping on a hard floor and not having a home.  When the Tsunami hit in Indonesia, I couldn't relate.  I have never lived in a hut, never walked barefoot in a tropical environment, and frankly, it's more third world.  Japan, is as close to home as it could possibly be.  We have almost the same weather, I live close to the coastal community, and not only does my father and stepmother have a house right on the beach, but so does my mother...  I would also hope that in the event that Oregon experienced a natural disaster of this magnitude, that we would be as gracious and orderly as these people in Japan.

It's still hard to see those little children huddled next to their mothers on the gym floor and all the elderly ladies wrapped up in blankets. Equally as moving is to see people who have nothing, offer to share what little they do have. It is during these times that backs are made stronger, that the real purpose of our lives is magnified, and that hope becomes something you can touch. And I can literally see that happening for these gracious people that have survived.  Because frankly, it's in the surviving that the true meaning of our lives is found.  We are warriors.  And I have not laid down my weapons yet....a lady gently kissed me yesterday at church and spoke of my victories....I have many.  But I am nowhere near finished.  I see many battles yet to be fought. But everyday I make a choice to fight, to continue, and to remember my scars and the blessings they have brought. 

Now I have to go and enjoy baking with my 5 little blessings and wipe away these tears....
 

Spring Break?

Not for me....I still have school.  I don't have any extra money...things are tight right now.  So what to do for spring break becomes a behemoth event instead of a mere mouse click away to Disneyland or where ever people go that have time and money.

This is what we are doing:

Monday: Cooking/Baking day.  I'm sure we will be eating brownies and cupcakes for days afterwards, thus lending itself to a great Spring Break right?

Tuesday: Friend day.  Everyone has playdates planned with friends on this day.  Mommy is spending time doing homework.

Wednesday: Fort making and Movie day.  Of course, this requires a little money for rentals, and it will be a huge mess, but in the end, it's fun and I am sure I'll be making copious amounts of carmel popcorn.

Thursday: Gardening day.  Yep.  Rain or shine we will be preparing our two gardening boxes, planting starts, and doing a little green house gardening with seeds.  My kids really like doing this and square foot gardening appeals to all my little engineers.  This costs a little but $30 worth of seeds for 2 years isn't too shabby.

Friday: Beach day, rain or shine.  This is just the cost of gas for us because my parents have a place in Long Beach that they let us use.  So we will be beating each other in games of PacMan at the arcade on the strip, or taking long walks on the shoreline.

Saturday:  Heading home, and cleaning up after our messy week at home. 

Somewhere between all this, I have to get my homework done.  It's only Friday and trust me, it's impossible to get anything done with all of them home!  I am so ready for school to get out this semester.  I already have a list of things that I want to do when April 8th finally rolls around! 

Any other ideas for free fun in rainy Oregon?

A Stranger

My daily routine is filled with car trips back and forth to the Twin T's as I like to call them.  Tigard and Tualatin are my town neighbors.  They contain all of my favorite shopping spots like Goodwill, Value Village, Whole Foods, Costco, Marshalls, TJ Maxx, and WinCo.  And, both of my daughters attend ballet and gymnastics in these towns.  I am going back and forth at least twice a day.  They all know me...I'm the crazy broad with the Christian Rock blaring so loud that even with the windows up, people stop and stare.  :)

But this post isn't about my shopping prowess, it's about a guy I see on a regular basis when I am in the car.  This man is always around, rain or shine, day or night.  He is a fixture in our town.  In fact, I am sure that many people know him on a first name basis.  I do not, but he has changed my life.  Everytime I see him, I slow down a little.  I forget about my breakneck pace.  See, this man has a mental disability.  More often than not, he is not riding his bike but sitting on the seat and pushing it along with his feet on the pavement like a preschooler that hasn't mastered the mechanics of the pedals yet.  Attached to the front of his bike, is a large red recycling box that holds his many treasures.  He is out in the rain without proper attire and can rarely be seen with not a reflector in sight.  Many people offer to get him a headlamp and a better coat.  He is wearing crocs and socks while it pours inches of the wet stuff.  And he is there every day. 

He is important.  He makes people think.  I cannot pass him without realizing how blessed I am that I have a car to drive, that my kids are healthy, and that I am of a sound mind.  But he is more than that to me.  Whenever I see him, I see him as a very important child of God.  He serves a great purpose.  He makes everyone stop and think.  We all have become accustom to watching out for him.  We go slower.  We look around corners.  We stop longer for him to pass.  No horns get honked.  Everyone becomes a little more polite. See, our town is one of affluence.  And I believe this man is here to keep us grounded.  I know he does this for me.

Which leads me to believe that everyone one this planet is of great importance.  This man has changed me without even knowing it. God knows it.  And God knows me.  I hope that I am just as valiant in my mission here as this simple man.  I could learn a little thing or two from him.  I'm sure he doesn't start his day thinking about who he is going to effect that day and if he is going to be at the right place at the right time.  He simply is.  I think too much.  I often find myself trying so hard to figure out what He wants me to do and who He would like me to help.  I get impatient when I can't see the direction something is going.  I wonder if I am doing it wrong or if I didn't do enough to help someone or talk to the right person.  The list of what if's is endless.  The whole problem, is I am trying to be the instrument and the player at the same time.  This man is the instrument.  God is his player.....  His music is beautiful, simple, and soul searching.  So to the stranger on the side of the road, thank you.  Your music is heavenly to me.

The Fruits of My Non Labor

I am in dire need for inspiration this past couple of weeks.  I am in a deep funk. And I have so much to do, that it is just too overwhelming to even think about it, let alone, actual do it.  If I come out of this week without suffering a nervous break down, it will be a miracle.

When I get so overcome,

I read this:

 I speech I read

I watch this:
dance routine


I look at this:

And I dream of this:

Happy March....may I make it through.