SEX...

The bee in my bonnet will not shut up! The past two weeks, Ive been bombarded by other peoples nervousness about the S word and more specifically about teaching your kids about it. Let me just start by saying, I was raised by a mother who is a Make Love Not War Hippie. She has her degree in Health Education and Dance. Needless to say, I know most everything there is to know about the subject. Being highly educated on the subject gave me the unofficial job of calming the fears of all the innocent girls that got married when I was at college. They would come to me before leaving for home to get married and I would lay it all out in the open for them. Some of them were terrified. Some of them were misinformed. Some of them had absolutely NO clue what was about to happen. Seriously folks, for the love of PETE, please educate your children! I don't want my daughter to have to start giving classes her freshman year at BYU on Wedding Night Antics and How To Enjoy Yourself.

Yesterday I was schooled on the current "hip" stuff going on in the bus ride to and from school. Some of the boys have developed sayings going along with body parts...VIP, GPS, PIMP....all having to do with Vagina's and Penis'....these are 3rd graders and 6th graders. All I have to say, is don't wait for your kids to talk to you and bring questions to the forum. They are getting schooled all the time. If you are really freaked out about the "Maturation Program" make sure your kids know everything before they watch the movie. My daughter gets to watch it for the second time next week because she switched schools and they already had seen it at her previous school. Don't bury your head in the sand. The world we live in is bombarded by sex all the time. Cartoons even have innuendos about sex. Stop denying it is there and start empowering your kids by giving them the truth about intimacy. I know it's not an easy subject to talk about, but it gets easier the more open you are about it. My kids get the talk when they are 8 after they are baptized. It's a little tradition. Some of you may feel that is too young. Trust me, it's not. Unless you live in some kind of bubble out in the sticks, they have been exposed. Give them the truth. Teach them that they fought a war in heaven to gain a body. Tell them how it will change. Let them know that all the feelings and emotions are normal and natural. Teach them that it's ok and wonderful to want to share yourself with someone and that it's not just about having babies. Let them know about the natural consequences of not waiting until your married to have sex. Be honest. Be open. Teach them line upon line. Stop the cycle of ignorance, unhealthy curiosity, and fear associated with sex. My daughter was grossed out by the whole thing, but she knew everything they talked about in the movie before it was shown. We've talked about Gay and Lesbians. My kids are very aware that Mom and Dad love each other and we are not afraid or embarrassed to kiss in front of them. PDA's show your kids what a healthy relationship looks like. Don't you want them to have a spouse that showers them with love? My kids are grossed out when my husband and I kiss in front of them, but they know that we love each other...

Most of all, let us remember that the author of shame regarding our bodies is Satan. The first thing Adam and Eve were ashamed of was being naked. I'm not saying to live in a nudist environment, but stop the shame! Let them know that it is a gift! One of God's greatest. Keeping it in the bounds of matrimony is the only way to rid yourself of unnecessary consequences that can lead to a life time of pain and anguish for you and your posterity. Let them know that is is sacred. Let them know that it is enjoyable and desirable (just off limits for now).

I could go on for hours about this topic, but I'll leave you with this. Teach your kids. Sit down and explain the plan to them. Make it special. It involves God so how can it be bad?....Thanks for the vent.

Chore Sticks...

Family Fun April 2008


My kids hate doing their chores. But what I hate more than them hating their chores is having to keep track of them and the rewards that go along with them... I've posted a chore chart that I tried twice and failed. My brain is not organized. I'd prefer to mix it up all the time, and so do my kids. Twirly charts, mark offs, money, the store have all failed. The sticks are easy. The sticks make it fair and fun. It becomes a game and a competition for my kids. Since it's been two weeks and I haven't found the sticks yet (at least I'm honest) I've just been assigning chores everyday to the kids randomly after they get home from school. I'm not one of those mothers who expects their kids to have clean rooms...that, they do once a week when laundry is due. My house is lived in. But my kids have to clean the entry of coats, boots, shoes, etc... They have to clear, set, and wipe down the table, sweep, pick up the toys, straighten the pillows on the sofas, feed the Zoo of animals and clean the toilets. Make your list of things you absolutely want the kids to do. Take them out of the mix if you did them already or they don't need to be done that day. When someone gets sick, everyone gets extra sticks. It's really a perfect system and teaches so many lessons.
1. Make a list of daily chores that have to be done
2. Make a list of things you want done by your kids on a more inconsistent basis, like a couple times a week or weekly etc...
3. Divide them into difficulty
4. Paint Popsicle sticks in different colors for different levels of difficulty and a group that you do only once in a while.
5. Write with Sharpie the various chores. Add in blank ones in every color.
6. Store them in a decorated can or in a baggie.
7. Everyday, have the drawing...everyone gets to draw, even mom (or dad if he is around and actually does the chores too)
8. Everyone enjoys a break, and the look of defeat of getting a hard job, but also the thrill that you probably don't have to do it the next day.
This actually works for me. We don't do allowance. It's extremely flexible and also fun.
Just a side note. I am a mean mom. If my kids don't bring me their dirty laundry, they go to school wearing dirty clothes or do their own laundry. They find their own shoes or risk wearing snow boots to class. They have natural consequences to all of their actions. If the living room is clean, and there is time, we can play a game. If they didn't give me their dirty thermos' at night, then they have to wash them in the morning by themselves. If they don't do their homework, I let them suffer the consequences. So the natural rewards my kids get for doing their jobs is time...to play with a friend, to shoot hoops, to watch transformers on the Internet...so this really works for me.

My New Calling

I will be wearing long jean skirts, khaki skirts and slip on shoes to church for the next year. No rayon, silk, pantyhose, heels, or fancy jewelry will be worn. Can you guess what my new calling is? Your right! Patrick and I will be team teaching 10 little Nursery goers. This will be my 3rd attempt at this calling. Putting in a brand new family in the nursery is not a smart thing to do in my ever so humble opinion, so I am assuming that the Bishop had some divine direction on this one. Nursery is one of my favorite callings. It really is. Especially when your Nursery Coordinator is like the Nursery Nazi! She has all the snacks prepared, handouts, lessons planned. I guess God understood my stress load was a little overloaded right now. Patrick will get his fill of babies (he wants more...) and I will get to play with toys, crayons and hang out on the floor with no shoes on at church...what could be better than that?! (I think it's time to break out the laminator and cutesy primary helper books!)

Rescued!

I can't believe this. Starting in my teen years, I have been a collector of the unwanted. Until last year, I could count on one hand the number of months I went without someone sleeping at my house that technically didn't belong there. My door has always been open. Some people collect stray animals. I collect stray people. Even last year, we did house a family at our home in Hillsboro for a little less than a month. It's the least I can do. I too was homeless for about 4 months when I was 11/12. I know what that feels like. It's heart breaking.
Well evidently, no people want to sleep on our couch right now, so God has seen fit to bless me with 4 little kittens that were left on the side of the road. This morning, while out on my run, I spotted 3 dead kittens in the ditch. No sooner did I start walking away, thinking to myself what poor little creatures, and then something caught my eye...4 little fur balls huddled together wet and cold! I scooped them up into my jacket and walked back home up an extremely steep hill. Then I set about trying to guess how old they were and what to do. So now I am the foster mother to 4 little babies that are 3 weeks old and still drinking from a bottle. Anybody want kittens? The shelters are full so I am going to take them on! I can't help it...I'm a Momma!

The Dawn

Ok, so you all know that I am not a morning person despite the fact that my middle name is Dawn. But I have been itching to work out again despite the chronic tiredness that is plaguing me. 6:00am came early on Tuesday. The sun was shining. The birds were singing and the kids didn't need to be up for at least 30 minutes. Attempting a walk/jog on roads that you have never traversed can be a little tricky. Gravel isn't a great medium for a jog. And the fact that I have lost enough weight that all my pants are too dang loose...note to self, you can't run if your pants keep slipping off! Good thing I am in the middle of no where. Well at least that is what I thought. Around 6:30, I swear it was like a freeway by my house. Evidently all the richy riches that go into town for work leave at 6:30. They were all curteous but too fast. Uphill and downhill, it was a gruelling course but I made it. 50 minutes is quite a morning jaunt to start out with, but I have to get back into the swing of things while I wait for the 36+ pills I have to take everyday to kick in. Honestly it's been so rewarding to hear everyone that knew me two years ago to notice my weight loss. It's pushing me to not care about the fatigue or the soreness.
These Filbert/Hazelnut orchards are everywhere up here on Chehalem Mountain.
About 1/3 of the way on this path I was taking, it started to rain. It is Oregon right? The rainbows were amazing. My Iphone doesn't do them justice at all! So next time, I will look at the WHOLE sky before I step foot outside and not wear a sweatshirt that holds 50 times it's weight in water!

Internet Working!

My Kitchen....the crazy art will be covered soon by drapes.

Sherwood must be the land of the Gods...I am serious. Today, I slept in until 10. Then I took a leisurely bath for an hour. I made lunch for the kids and emptied a few boxes (they don't start school until tomorrow). Then I took a nap. Yes...I am soooo tired. Not just from the move and cleaning, but this crazy illness I have that knocks me out. And like Santa, the internet guy shows up at my door. Normally I wouldn't let a man into my home that I hadn't called, but this guy said he saw that we had tried to hook up the signal and just wanted to know when we would like to sign up...come on in! Christian had somehow got our router hooked up...yes I know what a router is, but haven't a clue how exactly he made this "magic" happen. So they sent this nice man to our home and it was the best wake up call I could have received. Now I am connected again. And I don't even have to pay until the end of the month...How sweet is that?!

Thoughts on Packing

Well this will be my last post for a few weeks until we get Internet hooked up again. And I just wanted to document this experience before I forget all the juicy tidbits of knowledge that flow through my brain while sniffing the sharpie marker that I mark the boxes with...
1. I am so grateful for the trials that have prepared me for all these moves. Not only have I done this with toddlers and a sick husband on my own, but pregnant with toddlers on my own. I can't complain about moving anymore, ever! It will never be as hard as that was. So while this move is not a cake walk, it's not the hardest thing for me to do...not a trial at all. I actually like the forced spring cleaning and purging (I hate to say this, but I get this from my mother).
2. Life would be alot easier if I could afford paper plates and cups and take out while we are moving, but alas, it is not meant to be. Meanwhile, we are making due and the kids are getting lots of desserts. All that food storage jello and pudding has come in handy. We have eaten pretty dang great while spending less than $40 dollars on food for the month. My testimony of food storage is alive and well. Of course I have to thank my chickens. Without their yummy eggs everyday, our diet would be a little more bland.
3. I totally get why people only had 2 or 3 sets of clothing in the "olden days". Does my 8 year old really need enough clothing to change twice a day for two weeks and still not have repeats? No! Can you imagine doing all that wash by hand and hanging it dry? I am all for environmentally friendly and am seriously considering line drying my jeans and coats, but really?...yikes!!
4. God answers prayers. Not just the big ones, but seemingly "little" requests like finding a fridge and dryer...He is really saving our backside and then some. He knows what is going on in my life. Even when I complain about all the "sacrifices" I am making, he listens and helps and provides. I've been humbled too many times to count in the last month. He makes a way before us...
5. God knows me better than I know myself. The last two years have been nothing short of Hell on Earth. I know, I shouldn't say that, but we all have our trials and this one has been a doozy for me. Not one major thing, but just accumulation of many things that have bombarded my very being. Now I feel like I am finally reaching a plateau. Not much has changed, but I can "see" a little better and have a better understanding of His hand in my life.
6. Service really can help you through a difficult time. Many times, just having a calling to fulfill, or a dinner to make, or a project to complete for my Kid's school has helped me focus on other things besides what is going on all around me. Despite the fact that my love language is Physical...I really do enjoy showing others I love and care about them by serving them...and it has saved me from melting into a pile of goo.

So thanks all for your love and support. It is helping and I dearly love you all for your friendship and your help. Hopefully this move will prove to bring brighter days ahead and peace in our storm.