The bee in my bonnet will not shut up! The past two weeks, Ive been bombarded by other peoples nervousness about the S word and more specifically about teaching your kids about it. Let me just start by saying, I was raised by a mother who is a Make Love Not War Hippie. She has her degree in Health Education and Dance. Needless to say, I know most everything there is to know about the subject. Being highly educated on the subject gave me the unofficial job of calming the fears of all the innocent girls that got married when I was at college. They would come to me before leaving for home to get married and I would lay it all out in the open for them. Some of them were terrified. Some of them were misinformed. Some of them had absolutely NO clue what was about to happen. Seriously folks, for the love of PETE, please educate your children! I don't want my daughter to have to start giving classes her freshman year at BYU on Wedding Night Antics and How To Enjoy Yourself.
Yesterday I was schooled on the current "hip" stuff going on in the bus ride to and from school. Some of the boys have developed sayings going along with body parts...VIP, GPS, PIMP....all having to do with Vagina's and Penis'....these are 3rd graders and 6th graders. All I have to say, is don't wait for your kids to talk to you and bring questions to the forum. They are getting schooled all the time. If you are really freaked out about the "Maturation Program" make sure your kids know everything before they watch the movie. My daughter gets to watch it for the second time next week because she switched schools and they already had seen it at her previous school. Don't bury your head in the sand. The world we live in is bombarded by sex all the time. Cartoons even have innuendos about sex. Stop denying it is there and start empowering your kids by giving them the truth about intimacy. I know it's not an easy subject to talk about, but it gets easier the more open you are about it. My kids get the talk when they are 8 after they are baptized. It's a little tradition. Some of you may feel that is too young. Trust me, it's not. Unless you live in some kind of bubble out in the sticks, they have been exposed. Give them the truth. Teach them that they fought a war in heaven to gain a body. Tell them how it will change. Let them know that all the feelings and emotions are normal and natural. Teach them that it's ok and wonderful to want to share yourself with someone and that it's not just about having babies. Let them know about the natural consequences of not waiting until your married to have sex. Be honest. Be open. Teach them line upon line. Stop the cycle of ignorance, unhealthy curiosity, and fear associated with sex. My daughter was grossed out by the whole thing, but she knew everything they talked about in the movie before it was shown. We've talked about Gay and Lesbians. My kids are very aware that Mom and Dad love each other and we are not afraid or embarrassed to kiss in front of them. PDA's show your kids what a healthy relationship looks like. Don't you want them to have a spouse that showers them with love? My kids are grossed out when my husband and I kiss in front of them, but they know that we love each other...
Most of all, let us remember that the author of shame regarding our bodies is Satan. The first thing Adam and Eve were ashamed of was being naked. I'm not saying to live in a nudist environment, but stop the shame! Let them know that it is a gift! One of God's greatest. Keeping it in the bounds of matrimony is the only way to rid yourself of unnecessary consequences that can lead to a life time of pain and anguish for you and your posterity. Let them know that is is sacred. Let them know that it is enjoyable and desirable (just off limits for now).
I could go on for hours about this topic, but I'll leave you with this. Teach your kids. Sit down and explain the plan to them. Make it special. It involves God so how can it be bad?....Thanks for the vent.
3 comments:
Adele said the same thing about giving her kids the talk at 8. She said if the Lord trusts them and thinks they are old enough to be accountable, then she can too.
There was a little story on the news about some families who were up in arms about the "Great Body Shop" program given to 5th graders about HIV/AIDS. There were three phrases that the parents were completely upset about and one was, "you are too young to have sex." However you feel about that statement, it made me realize that I need to get my message about sex across with my kids because there will be a whole heck of a lot of other messages out there and instead of ignoring the subject, I need to embrace it and talk about it so my boys know what's right. So that when they get other messages they will be able to discern what is right from wrong.
Information is power!
Good point on the thing about being ashamed and Satan. Never actually thought of it that way. But very good point!
I'm with you all the way. So far we've given the talk to our two oldest at age 8 and you're so right about that not being too young. My kids hear all the naughty stuff on the bus too and so I feel it's so important to talk to them about what they hear and set things straight and to help them have the right outlook on the subject. You made some very good points. I feel bad for those adults/newlyweds out there who don't really have a clue.
Amen sister! Good post!
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