November 2nd: This is taking up my precious time...

  I think I might have been a large black women in my former life.  I highly recommend this book!

November 1st: Airing Dirty Laundry....

Writer's block on the first day of NaBloPoMo?  Really?  Like I don't normally have 30 things going on in my head at once, but I have to narrow it down to just one?  The first one?  That's a ton of pressure for a little measly blog post...

I could go on and on about Michelle Duggar, (which I plan to do sometime this month) or I could show you my children's dedication to Halloween and authentic costume attire.  But those posts are not fit for a first post when I plan on posting everyday for a month.

So I am going to talk about a dirty little secret that has reared it's ugly head this year.  I'm going to let it all hang out and just tell the whole world that marriage isn't perfect.  There.  I said it.  My marriage isn't perfect.  And I know your marriage isn't perfect either.  You might paint a idyllic picture with your facebook posts about how in love you are with your spouse, or you might sing his praises in public.  But down in the trenches and the underbelly, is the cold hard truth.  Most of us are struggling at one time or another with our marriage.  

I know this for a fact because once I aired my dirty laundry so to speak, people came out of the woodwork to share their own marital woes.  And one thing that really struck me hard was the fact that we all keep it hidden.  Why is that?  Why is it so important to put up a fake facade that implies that your marriage is perfect?  What does it accomplish?  

And I've come to the conclusion that it's nothing to be ashamed of or hide from because everyone goes through it at some time or another.  I am of the opinion that adjustment of newlyweds is difficult because we never talk about the bad times and how to get through it.  We are afraid that if we commiserate with others that somehow some of there problems might rub off on us.  Well I am here to out myself and say, guess what, sometimes my marriage sucks.  Sometimes I want to run. Sometimes I ask myself what in the hell did I sign up for this for?  Really? 

 It's the hardest thing I have ever done is be married to someone that doesn't think like me, doesn't like the same stuff I do, doesn't have the same motivation or personality.   I mean it annoys the crap out of me that my husband takes a book everywhere he goes and would rather read than get engaged in a conversation with others.  He falls asleep when he sits still...  He can't make it through a church meeting without me having to elbow him sharply to at least look like he's alert.   

And yet, I think he is the best thing that ever happened to me.  Yes I just said that.  Why you may ask?  Well, I was a wimp before I got married.  I was like Tina saying "Hit me again Ike...and this time put some stank on it!"  Not in the literal sense mind you, but emotionally I was a puppy just looking for love.    I mean I didn't really grow a spine until my first husband died.  I just pined away at men who completely took advantage of that love struck look in my eyes.  "Man, she worships the ground I walk on...I could get away with anything!  And she'll still love me."  Yep.  That was me.  I was a sucka!  

Well one thing is for sure, I am not that needy little girl anymore.  And being married has made me stronger.  I don't have a man that agrees with everything I do.  And I definitely don't agree with everything he does, but we are learning how to love each other despite our obvious differences.  Sometimes I believe that we are paired with people just to learn how to love a person that is exactly not like yourself.  What a better way to learn how to love everyone that to be married to a person that is nothing like you?  I mean, my husband is straight up OCD and I am straight up CHILL!  I like long intimate conversations about politics and social causes.  He's completely indifferent about anything political.  I spend all my vacation building schools in Africa and be totally fulfilled.  My husband wants to travel Europe or go on a cruise.  We are very, VERY, different.   

I firmly believe that if you don't get it the first time, God gives you the same thing until you get it.  Well God gave me two husbands that are have quite a few similarities.  And me thinks.....I must need to learn something from these traits that bug me so.  Well I am here today to say that I get it.  I get that I need to learn how to love a man that is so completely opposite of me.  And I need to thank him for giving me the opportunity to learn something from him about how to be more like my Saviour.  

And for all of you out there pulling your hair out because you just don't like your spouse....just admit it....your out there...I've heard it from your own mouth....it's ok.  You don't have to like them.  You just have to love them enough to get through the downs and pray for the ups.  Because I will tell you that EVERY marriage has it's ups and downs.  Your husband or wife is not your knight in shining armor and your wife is not your Cinderella.  It's not the way the Lord intended.  You learn from marriage.  And I think that is why it's a commandment.  It's not only to have babies, but it's the very thing that will perfect us and get us back home. 

Marriage Builders  has hundreds of articles that might change your perspective and to get started, I'd search the basic concepts tab.  But of course nothing is wrong in your marriage right?!?!

My Rock on my hand with my low maintenance fingernails...

It's Black and White

I might be good at it...but it doesn't mean that I like it...

Chuggin Down The Track

Our Staycation on the Hood River Train

We sat in the "old" car with the old fashioned "air conditioning".  It's called windows!   Needless to say, most of the other passengers were wimps and stayed in the more modern car with the domed ceiling.  My kids loved having the car to themselves as you can see....

It was relaxing for some of us...

mesmorizing for others....

Just plain fun!

 Contemplative for some...

Informative for the smarty pants

Stories illustrated at every turn...

The thrill was intense...

The peace, profound...

Life comes at you fast...

The key is to keep your face in the sunshine...and all the shadows fall behind.  (Helen Keller)

Naked

Don't fret...I'm not about to show you pictures of my creamy white self...just my brain.  I lay it before you in all its splendor for anyone to peruse.

A long time ago, I realized that I don't fit in a nice little category.  My inner sanctum is like a picture of what my thoughts might consist of at any given moment.  It's not perfectly designed, more like sporadic flashes of insanity and creativity all mixed together with vibrant color.  I have pictures of what is most important to me,

books that I read that seep into my soul, quotes that bring me strength, songs playing that inspire me, projects that I am in some stage of finishing, and occasionally a little boy playing Lego's is on the floor beside me.
There is room for others in my brain, but by invitation only.

 I can sit in my rocking chair and console a child or stare out the window to my rose garden.  Of course, I have supplies to scrapbook, knit, crochet, stamp, draw, paint, sew, embroider, write, compose, meditate, design, and read.

Speaking of reading...what is in your personal bookshelf?

From an old missionary journal and a country living survival book to books by Hugh Nibley and a book on how to spice up your night life if you get my drift.  I have a book from the 60's on how to be a good homemaker and a new one that has apron pattern ideas in it.  Of course I have a book on Obama and a Book of Mormon from my mission.  I have a dance composition book and the complete works of Shakespeare.  Is that varied enough for you?  Didn't I tell you that I don't fit into anyone's mold?







Current projects include ribbon and fabric flower pins, lyrics for a song entitled Green, cotton washcloths, 2 sets of draperies, and of course, photography stuff.

One thing I have learned as I have carefully placed every item in this room is that I am my Father's Daughter.  He is the Creator, and I am His Child. 

And now more than ever, I can honestly say that there is no one quite like me.  I am unique and happy surrounded my chaotic, energetic room.  It might not be a calm, zen oasis, but to me, it is as close to Heaven as I can get....

Conference Traditions: Shoe Shining

During the break between sessions of LDS conference, my daughters and I go on a walk.  We talk.  We laugh.  We bond Oregonian style by looking at all the pretty flowers and trees that surround us.  I showed my inquisitive daughters the "secret" paths that conjoin the streets behind their schools.  It's creepy and cool at the same time.  I remember going to my friends houses through those secret passages and loved showing them the forest hidden between.

What do the boys do?  Well they stay at home and shine shoes.  It's a tradition that my husband loves and Christian is starting to get into as well.  I must admit, that a good shoe shine will help even the homeliest footwear look fabulous.  I'd venture to guess that half of my husbands footwear was purchased second hand.  Mine is probably 1/3 of my total shoe population.   

These guys I have had since my mission.  They've been resoled and have new shoelaces, but are in amazing condition otherwise.  I call them my Laura Ingalls Wilder Crap Kickers!  I love them and wear them in the fall and winter more than once a week. 

Conference Traditions: Baking

 It's a Cookie!

Yes...Ladies and Gentleman, you too can make cookies that are gluten free and taste just like the regular wheat variety.  This little gem just happens to be a cookie of the Shortbread variety.  It crumbles, crunches, and is rich just like the original. 

So I made 3 dozen for my adoring family who thinks I walk on water because I can still bake.

My secret (and the reason I did not put this on my recipe blog) is this:

Thanks BOB!  Your are a miracle worker...