Monday, January 25, 2010
Guess what?
I am either having a psychotic break or a breakthrough and I haven't decided which one yet. Can I even say this outloud? Is this real? So here it is in all it's brutal honesty....I think I like my body just the way it is. There I said it. That wasn't so hard. But still there must be something wrong with me. Not only am I not what the magazines say is beautiful, but I am clearly obese according to most charts. Thing is, I have low blood pressure, low cholesterol, and a low risk of diabetes due to my waist and hip ratio. Maybe I live in a fairytale land, but something deep down inside me actually likes looking like I just stepped out of a Rembrandt painting. Call me crazy but I like the curves. I was just noticing the past few days all the really skinny looking people around me. I fill out my shirt and my pants. I like being a size 16. How's that for honesty? I am shaped like an hourglass...really. I am not top or bottom heavy and my waist is much much smaller than my hips....I'm just big. And strong. And tall. And beautiful. Is this some kind of justification for eating? I'm really into eating healthy and enjoy a good workout. But I think I have lost the desire to look like everyone else. It looks gross to me. I look like a woman. And I think I like it....
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9 comments:
I wish that more people (including myself) would have the courage to love their body just how it is. After Camryn I worked really hard to lose weight and lost more than I even had as my goal. But I found that rather than loving how I looked, I constantly obsessed about food and whether I was skinny enough. Instead of comparing myself to how my friends looked I compared myself to supermodels and still wanted to be skinnier. If anything, I was more unhappy with my body than when I was chunky. (I finally leveled out 10 lbs. heavier and was much happier being able to have treats occasionally... now if only I hadn't added 10 more lbs. with Jackson and another 10 with Addy...).
I can't say that I *love* my body exactly how it is. But I'm doing better. I don't look like an 18-year-old. But I'm not 18. I've had four kids and I have battle scars to prove it. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Just for the record, I think you're beautiful and whenever I see you, you look great.
Good for you! You look wonderful. I am beginning to think the same way as you though. If I do not move up in a pant size then I am fine. It truly is work and dedication to exercise and with kids it is not so easy.
I hear you...I don't want to obsess about food. It is so time consuming. I feel like it is such a waste of my life to document everything that goes into my mouth, when I have so many other things that are just more important. Instead, I don't eat corn syrup and try to eat 4 to 5 veggies and fruits a day, add more whole grains and cut out processed food.
I am happy about it. In fact I think I probably asked for this body before I came to earth. I can't imagine fitting this big personality into anything else :)
Let the revolution begin!
Wow- what a powerful post! Kind of goes along with our talk on "my front porch." You are a strong, empowered woman. I was thinking today how cute you look. You have a great figure and curves!! It's all about how healthy you feel and what's going on inside. I am with you! I enjoy my curves too. I just wish I didn't yo yo so much. My focus is on eating healthy, not obsessing. I used to hate my thighs until I realized those thighs are what allow me to run marathons without getting injured. All my skinny runner friends get hurt easier, and my big legs help me bounce back after a long run!! So there, I am going to appreciate them. Thanks for the reminder. And for all the healthy food!
Thank you for having the guts to write this. It is something that I need to hear. i would be healthier emotionally if I thought the same way and so you have inspired me to talk about myself the same way you talk about yourself. Be positive about what I have and not dwell on what I wish. Thanks
Thanks for this today.
You ARE beautiful!! And you look awesome too--go ahead and flaunt your stuff, girl! (okay, maybe not your "stuff" --*blushing here* --you know what I mean!!)
Em- Dont forget your skinny friend here, who works hard to try to gain weight ah hah
Would kill for some curves....
Like your comment regarding the, "grass is always greener"...
However, its a great pasture to be in when you can really love where your grazing-- ah ha
Sorry about the bra sitch--- if you wanna pass some of it to my end, I'll gladly take it ah hah
XOXOXO
Jill :)
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