Parenthood

Miss me much?  I'mmmm Baacckkk!!! 


Well I thought I'd end my hiatus on an interesting lesson that I have learned about parenting.  I am a risk taker.  Yep.  Me.  I never thought of myself as a risk taker because the last place I want to be is on the wrong side of right.

So with parenting, I've read the most up to date books, scoured Internet articles, watched my friends with a critical eye, and tried to figure out my own style.  Parenting is something I truly invest time and effort into.  I don't want to get it wrong.

So I figured that I was more of the strict kind of mother.  Not a helicopter parent or a Tiger Mom, but firm and loving. I definitely have a good grip on reality about what can harm my kids emotionally, spiritually, and physically.  But as the years have flown by, I realize that I am more of a risk taking kind of parent.  After careful thought and much reading, I decided to not immunize my kids.  Is it a risk?  You bet.  I let my kids wear whatever they want to school.  Is this a risk?  In a way.  My children play outside unsupervised on our street.  They explored the woods without me.  They walk to and from school without an adult.  I let them go to birthday parties without my supervision.  They bathe 2 times a week if I am lucky.  They eat dirt, use the stove and power tools without my watchful eye.  I've got 5, I figure.  I can afford to lose a few...J/K  Really!  Breathe people.  For crying out loud!!  I let them make choices.  I actually encourage it.

So when my daughter came into my room this morning to say goodbye before leaving for school, I cracked an eyelid and gave her a kiss (yep, she gets herself ready for school and makes her own lunch....gasp!)she asked for me to sign a paper that declared her electives for next year.  Now 8th grade is not a make or break year.  She is already on track to complete a high school level math class next year and she is getting straight A's.  But when I took a better look at this sheet, I was a little disappointed.  She wanted to be an office aide and do some other dorky(in my mind) electives.  "Really Madeline?  You really want to just take classes that are "fluffy"?  What about French?  What about Drama? " (which is what she is taking this year in preparation for next year or so I thought)  Patrick chimed in because he was almost walking out the door and was clearly more level headed than the lump still in bed that was me. "She should do whatever she wants." "Your right.  Madeline, whatever you choose is ok, but Office assistant?  Really?" I exclaimed.

When I awoke for real, just minutes after her departure, I began to ponder this little parenting snafu that had transpired.  Had she saved this tidbit of info at the precise time before needing to leave for school so I wouldn't be able to talk about it?  Or did she just procrastinate the day of her apparent freedom from actual classes that required a book?  All the while I am thinking in my head, "This is why we moved to Lake Oswego?  So she could take the easy classes?  NOT!" 

While driving around today, I pondered this little exchange and determined...it's 8th grade.  It doesn't count yet.  Let her make mistakes now and live with the consequences...it's not that important.  So I was determined to just forget about it...until she walked in from school.  "So dear, what were the electives you signed up for again?  I was kind of out of it this morning", I said sweetly.  "Actually mom, I thought about what you said, and decided to take French." I think I would have fainted right there if I was not already laying down ( watching a recent episode of Cupcake Wars). "Wait!  What did you say?  Madeline I said you could do whatever you want, so I don't want you to give up having 4 little electives just for French if that is really what you want." I said hurriedly.  All the time I was like, really?  She really listened to my fragmented babbling at 7 in the morning?  "Well a bunch of my friends are taking french too and we eat lunch together soooo.....oh and I am taking Choir again," She casually tried to stick that last one in on me.  See, Choir is great and all, but it's a 0 period class, meaning it's totally extra.  And she has been bemoaning the fact that it's not an auditioned placement so some of the kids suck pretty bad and it kills her music buzz in a hardcore way so I was a little shocked to say the least.  When she wanted to drop the class a couple of months ago, I told her no, that she had to stick it out until the end of the year.  I never even saw that last one coming. 

So yes, here I am, taking risks in parenting.  One small step at a time.  And occasionally, those risks reap rewards.  So what if it was positive peer pressure.  Who cares.  My daughter made decisions on her own and that is what is most important.  Now if I can get my 12 year old to brush his teeth without being threatened, I can die a happy woman!