My Therapist

Being creative is such a strong driving force in my life. Recently I have discovered that it is really a question of which comes first: the chicken or the egg. If I am in a bad mood, having a gloriously hellish week, or just feeling exhausted, being creative always pulls me out of my funk and back into reality. It literally feeds me. Or is it that my lack of being creative, ultimately causes my funk, exhaustion, and hellish feelings? I'm a tortured artist, what can I say?

This week has been a particularily grand pile of excrement and I gleaned from my cache of fabric that I had purchased from Boersma's in McMinnville to help me through. I then put on a Pandora station that I can actually sing to, The Dixie Chicks. I think I can sing, but I'm not really sure if people are just being nice, or it's true. But evidently I channel Natalie Maines quite well and Amy Lee is my avatar when I am belting it out on Rock Band...of course I pull off a mean Pussy Cat Dolls impression if I hear Don't Cha...they didn't call me "stripper" my senior year in Dance Team for my skimpy clothes...;0)

I digress...

This pile of fabric, once covered my dining room chairs.

They had seen better days for sure and I had about had it with scrubbing them. So I set to work pulling out all of these

That took be the better part of the day.

This is the end product...8 chair pads covered in burlap...I kid you not. The burlap was actually in good condition, but I had a rich velvet with powder blue and cream just waiting for my large rump to sink into.

This stuff is like butta!

I only got 4 done before I ran out of staples...looks like I'm headed to the hardware store tomorrow.

Of course, the big stink is still around and I catch a wiff of it now and then, but it's just so darn hard to focus on it when your cutting velvet and you know that your dining room will look so fabulous in the end.

One of the minor wiffs is the fact that my daughter has shingles. She is handling it like a trooper...she is just like her mother. I'm being completely literal. At 17, I had shingles in the same exact nerve path. Looks like I gave her more than just my food allergies, excema, and sassy stubborn attitude. Hope she'll forgive me someday when she gets to channel all the really good things about being just like me...like her creativity.

Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.
Henry David Thoreau

Keeping it in Perspective

It's all about perspective, is it not?

Today, I'm unpacking my office.  Yes, for the first time in a few years and several moves, I have an office.  Somewhere to really hang my hat in.  Room for all my books, graph paper, tear sheets (design lingo for magazine pages you love) colored pencils and two desks.  I unpacked the scrapbook paper and brads.  Have way too much artwork to hang, but I will edit as best as I can.

It's amazing what a little perspective can accomplish.  It would have taken me weeks to get done what I have done in days, but since going to school, I feel like I can cram so much more into my day.  I didn't get perfect grades, but 3 A's and a B is fine for this mom of 5 who actually has a life and has to cook every meal.  

It boggles my mind that I couldn't get straight A's in college when it was just little old me.  I mean really?  I think I just do better with no time on my hands than too much.  

And as a last thought, I want to share this talk....this man moves me on a regular basis.  He speaks volumes to me and I can always read between his lines.  A remarkable mind and a spiritual giant...

Great talk by Neal A Maxwell

"Such longing for a heavenly home is real, especially in view of how this life is designed. After all, brothers and sisters, when we rejoice in beautiful scenery, great art, and great music, it is but the flexing of instincts acquired in another place and another time."

I think I live on Wisteria Lane...

Really, I mean do people actually live like this?  I just had to get this off of my chest because in all my 36 years as a person (was a cat before in Egypt?  Who knows...I'm just throwing it out there) I have never lived in a neighborhood like this one.  I can't blame it on Lake Oswego because I have lived here before and didn't experience this in any way, shape, or fashion.  Can I blame it on living in a culdesac?  Nope.  Did that one in Sacramento and I can say that it wasn't this way at all.  Although I did have one neighbor that mowed the front lawn when Kevin was too sick to do it and a neighbor that I hung out with on a regular basis.  But this is just plain mind blowing!  You know all of those TV sitcoms where people actually know their neighbors...ok like Three's Company comes to mind and the Cosby show, yeah like that. I thought those were just figments of writers convoluted idealization of childhood....well they were right!  That place exists.

We just happened to get a house on the Twilight Zone Street!  Not only have several neighbors actually come over to introduce themselves, but they actually bring things over...how strange is that?  And when the dog gets out of the backyard, they bring him back to me with a smile...not calling the HOA  (there is none by the way) or calling the cops.  I must have missed the memo that it's ok to be neighborly.  These people are really nice.  They all know each other.  They all were excited to have kids move into the neighborhood.  They share extra lettuce and some of them even go out to dinner with each other.  They ladies drink wine while watching their kids play outside and walk around the neighborhood chatting.  They all shop at Target and not Talbots.  These are normal people folks.  I met the "mothers' last night and they all proclaimed how they look out for each others' kids.  They have my back...I mean I really was completely floored!  Is this the "village" that Hillary Clinton keeps talking about?  (Sorry, I'm sure you all live in neighborhoods like this one, but really, I can't say that I have...even in Daybreak.)

Then the power went out.  How do I know this?  Well one lady got out of her car and proclaimed the garage door wasn't working.  Then the men started coming outside and asking if everyone's power was out.  It was like a impromptu party on our street.  Everyone was just great friends with each other.  It didn't matter if you had kids or single, they all are one big happy family.   We chatted for a few minutes, introduced all of our kids, talked to the neighbor on the next street over that got a flaming poop bomb two weeks ago at 4:30 in the morning. I think I might be living in the Truman Show...is someone filming my every move?

Maybe this place is like Desperate Housewives if I actually knew what that show was all about.  I'm hoping it's not, but seriously, this is going to take some getting used to (besides, which one would I be?)  I think I might like this neighbor thing.

Grateful for Today

(One of the flowers in my yard...a dahlia I believe)

Sometimes life can be pretty overwhelming.  Thinking back on the last 4 weeks and what I have accomplished since my kids got out of school gives me a sense of satisfaction that can only be reached when you do really hard things.  Rather than give you the big long list, just know that I accomplished more than was humanly possible.

But today, I'm just grateful that I have made it.

I am grateful that I am ok with just 90% instead of 100%.

I am grateful for the spine that I have grown.

I am grateful for my yard.

I am grateful for the overwhelming love I have for my ward.

I am grateful for all the friends I made in Sherwood.

I am grateful for the development of patience.

I am grateful for this gorgeous home.

I am grateful that my husband makes a good living.

I am grateful that I know my Savior lives and loves me.

I am grateful for forgiveness and the healing that it brings.

I am grateful that I get a month off of school.

I am grateful that the kids have found new friends already.

I am grateful that our cat waited to have babies until we moved.

I am grateful that I am strong and that I did it.  And that I know, I will never be given more than I can handle....

(A lily right outside my kitchen window)

New Car Part IV, in which I laugh out loud a little

The mechanic just informed us the the Eurovan was stolen from their lot.  The extremely stupid criminals ( I mean really, it's parked in front of a mechanic...just maybe the car doesn't work right?  A smart person could use deductive reasoning to come to that conclusion right?) got 6 blocks before the car gave out.  Now, it's sitting at the Tigard Police Impound.  Question is, do we even get the darn thing?  I seriously just have to laugh....cuz I'm just too busy to care....now onto packing more boxes.

New Car Part III, I Get a Van...Kind of

Stupid DMV!  Now that I got that off my chest, I will tell you the rest of the story....

Driving home from dropping off the accident waiting to happen, I vent about how I should have a nice car because I am the one spending so much time in one.  5 kids with 2 schools and several activities.  I want to be able to go to the beach or camping without having to worry about the car breaking down in the middle of nowhere.  My husband and I discuss how much we are currently spending on our car that is a POC and then we discuss how we will never buy a new car again.  I talk about how I want to drive off the lot with something that is certified by the dealership, with a warranty, maybe a little newer and nicer.  Patrick proceeds to do a U turn in the middle of 99E and we roll on into the Honda dealership with the huge "Certified Used Vehicles" sign waving in the air.  We check it out....and of course the little salesman come a running.
This car lot was night and day difference.  The salesman was personable but business like.  He didn't pull any sweet punches, but was funny and empathetic to our situation.  He obviously knew what he was talking about when it came to his cars.  He also looked like my little brother, so how could I not want to listen to him?
We test drove a car.  It was sweet...like fake wood inlay sweet....like this cool mommy mirror where you could see everyone in the back sweet....like the mommy van extraordinare sweet.  It drove like it was on a cloud. Yes it was more expensive than the first, but still about 5 years old and had 50,000 miles on it.  The car I am referring to is the Toyota Sienna Limited.  Sweet ride.  Leather.  Entertainment unit.  Cruise control so cool that it senses how fast the car in front of you is going and will adjust the speed accordingly...all you have to do is steer!  (this is what it looks like except it has way better rims)

Of course, this car was leaps and bounds better than the last car and I hate to say it, but better than the Honda I owned or the Tahoe.  When we got back, we started going over terms, etc.  And this guy was totally awesome.  See, my credit score isn't half bad...it's Patricks that you could wipe the toilet with, not mine.  And since I am gainfully employed by the Federal Government through the benefits of Social Security, I got the loan on my own.  My rate was great, my payment, far less than what we are paying now for our old Eurovan, with no prepayment penalty.  And I did it all by myself while my husband was on his laptop doing work stuff.  I felt like it was Emily empowerment day.  Should I have maybe looked around?  Probably, but I loathe purchasing a vehicle and this experience was completely opposite from the one I had just had.
I was out of there in an hour.  Unfortunately, do to my small oversight of having an expired license, I didn't drive the USS Enterprise home (my husbands name for the van which he covets by the way).  So the next morning, I went to the DMV.  They need you to do a DNA test, I swear!!!  Really, I had my Social Security Card, original Marriage Certificate, copy of my Birth Certificate, and that was not enough.  Since we are moving, I couldn't provide proof of residency until the 10th.  They wouldn't let me use my current address, as they don't forward the license and I couldn't change it until I got the said drivers license and I had to have the original birth certificate....CRAZY!  Well, I took the test anyway and got a 93% because I skipped two questions...it wasn't difficult at all and I must say that I quite enjoyed it.  Now I will have proof for my back seat driver comments when my husband performs several illegal maneuvers while driving with me.  I have proven that I know my laws!  So I can't even get an appointment for a driving test until I prove my residency (which means, not until I get mail from a utility at my new house or my rental agreement after the 10th) so the moral of this story is, don't let your license lapse for more than a year, because you basically have to start all over again.  Am I a good driver?  Yes...I just didn't want my dang license to have the street   DICK Road as my residence for the next 12 years...  really, you don't know how horrible it was to live on a street with this address.  It's memorable for sure, but not something I want to remember everytime I look down at that card. (the new address sticker goes on the back, not on the front)
So I had my husband call the dealership, explain the situation and let them know that we would have to rescind the contract because we didn't want to pay for a car that we couldn't drive for another few weeks, so they had Patrick "rent" it until I get my license and we brought it home the next day....so yeah!  I have a nice car to haul my kids in.  I have a reasonable interest rate that is way less than the other dealership.  I have a smaller payment than what I am paying currently paying.  All in all, I'm pleased.  I feel like I just conquered a huge fear of mine and came out the other end, victorious.  I think I'll take off my cape now...

New Car Part II Otherwise Known As, When I Get a Spine!

So Patrick and I go out to look at cars.  We didn't have a plan, just went out to look at what was available.  I must remember that my husband is the type to impulse shop....and sometimes that can be just downright stupid.
We drive through several dealerships and I see plenty of vans at have as many miles as my Eurovan, but are $7000 more.  Does that make sense to you?  Me neither.  Maybe we should just head home and do our research?  No Patrick wanted to look at one more place.  So we were flagged down while circling the lot and were suckered into stopping.  The salesman was smooth as creamy peanut butter in a white trash sort of way...totally off topic, but really, I wouldn't share the fact that your girlfriend is late and is possibly expecting your 3rd child and you still are not married because your waiting to have enough money to throw a big wedding...and of course Patrick played his, "I'm a sales manager" card.  In what became a huge recruitment exercise for him, and a smack down for me, I was pressured into driving a van.  Of course this van was way nicer than my van.  It only had 70,000 miles and it had those cool stow and go seats.  Of course I overlooked the fact that I really can't stand Dodge in general...but I was suckered into the shiny.  We casually looked at the other offerings and were told that this car was a loss leader and we couldn't get a better deal anywhere.  For sure, they were being truthful right?  Because they told us how we could check it on the internet if we wanted to.  What started out with only looking became a process of buying a car that took 7 hours!  The dang salesman even followed us home just to get Patrick's paystubs....
But enough about that....during this seven hour ordeal, they tried to get us to pay $849 for VIN etching.  Of course they had some other guy come and deliver that news to us.  I chewed him a new one.  Patrick just sat back and watched.  He got defensive, I told him not to screw with me.  Don't bait and switch...etc.  He walked off in a huff and then the General Manager came out.  I know the game...I AM MARRIED TO THE GAME!!!  They did not expect this little housewife to be the powerhouse in this relationship.  I refused to pay anymore than the price agreed upon.  I refused to pay 34% and I also tried to get up and walk away several times.  Enough was enough.  After hours of haggling, we finally had terms I thought were good, and then went to sign papers.
This is when my crazy experiences did me some good.  They wanted to "shop" my loan so I had to sign 3 different loan documents.  2 of which had prepayment penalties.  I refused to sign.  I refused and the guy was dumbfounded.  Yes folks, I read the fine print!  I actually don't trust people that try to charge me $849 for a service that would cost me $20 at my local auto parts store.  So we went home with this car contingent upon our own mechanic looking at it.  They were all in a huff about that one.  So we waited until Monday morning, I took it into the shop and then discovered that I had been sold a car that would probably need a new power steering system, brakes that were less than 10% (which is illegal to sell) and several other problems that could add up to $2000 in repairs.  Not to mention the whole steering system shook at any speed over 40.  I was pissed, good and proper.  I really don't like being screwed.
I got to the dealership before Patrick.  I walked in and sat my butt down in a chair and waited for a rep to come help me.  I sat there for 5 minutes.  Evidently they could tell that this Mamma was not happy.  I imagined them all behind their tinted windows doing rock paper scissors to see who would have to deal with me...the finance guy came out and said "Good news!  We got your rate lowered 4%!"  I just laser beamed into his forehead with a stern stare.  He asked, "What's wrong?"  " You just sold me a car that was illegal to sell."  I related all the problems the mechanic found.  "How could you sell this to a mother with 5 kids?  How could you let anyone drive this off the lot knowing that the brakes could fail and the power steering could go out at any moment?  How could you do that to a mother and 5 kids?  Haven't we lost enough already?  They lose their dad and then you are putting them in harms way and could possibly lose their mother when she drives this car?"  (Yes, I use the widow card when it plays to my advantage...I'm sure Kevin got a kick out of it!)  Then this man visible cowered.  Really, he retreated as far back into his chair as possible and then said sorry and scampered away like the rat that he was.  I sat there, shaking with rage and then about 5 minutes later our salesman came out.  He had fear in his eyes...
I said, " How could you sell me this car Charlie?  Would you sell the mother of your children a car with bad brakes and bad power steering?  Would you?"  Charlie responded like a man that had just been kicked in the nuggets, "No, no I wouldn't."  "Then why would you sell it to me, Charlie?"  Charlie then went on to explain that he thought they put new brakes on it and that this car had been on their lot for months and were not able to sell it....well duh!  It's a piece of crap so fix it and sell it as a loss.  He scurried away with his pride being trampled on all the back to his tinted window safe house...
Then my husband came.   Why yes, I did this all on my own thank you very much!  They hurried out to talk to the man of the house.  He was as kind and forgiving as he could be.  Then he asked for the recision papers.  We signed and just as we were about to leave, the finance guy asks if the interview was still on....yes this man wanted to get a job with Patrick.  I laughed a little because really, does Patrick want someone to sell for him that is that dishonest?  No.
We left the lot, without the check in hand, with a promise to send it as soon as the check cleared....whatever greasy car salesman...you screwed yourselves.  By the way, this company is called, Seaport Auto Wholesale.  Don't go there.  They have 26 complaints with the BBB.

PS.  Having my iPhone handy really paid off during this transaction.  I was able to look up comparables, check things like VIN etching and acquisition fees and the BBB report for this business.  So all you tech geeks, my iPhone just saved me thousands!